Nashville Specialist Expands Women's Breasts By Special Malipulation, Chants

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Sunday, 29 March 2009


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Randall Knox, a breast therapist in Nashville, Tennessee, has been running ads and placing posters at laundromats and grocery peg boards, just may be in trouble with the law.

By advising women that he could help enlarge their breasts a full cup size without surgery or any implants, safely, through his laying hands on them, rubbing in a special secret ointment and using an ancient Aztec chant, Knox has a long list of clients.

"The police have been watching me for some time", stated a smiling Knox, "but they can't really do a thing unless one of my clients files a claim. They can't even charge me with deceptive business practices because I'm not in any business. Everything I do is free."

"Oh we'll get him sooner or later", stated Sheriff Deputy Ronald Fingerhut. "I've even been on stakeout on my own time to be sure those ladies are OK. There's a window in the back where you can see the whole thing and it's amazing what they put up with, with that quack."

Knox says he uses a special treatment from herbs the Aztecs used mixed with special oils to help free the breasts and allow them to grow. He also advises his clients to buy a bigger bra and be ready.

"I also have them listen to my recorded relaxation tape in the back. It works best when they undress and get under the warmed blankets. So far I've received no complaints and I've had several come back and thank me because their breasts are so smooth and starting to grow. Almost all say their breasts have increased by .5% or more after we measured them here and then I measure them whenever they come back for another treatment. Of course, it's a slow expansion because the Aztecs were never in any hurry about anything."

Meanwhile, Deputy Fingerhut says he'll be back that evening to check again.

"Now that I've secretly bored a hole into that room where they lay and listen to tho tapes, I'm sure I'll get that sleazy So & So, if it takes me two years or more."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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