The Large Hadron Collidor - The Truth!

Funny story written by Miko

Sunday, 29 March 2009

After an official investigation into the accident at the Large Hadron Collider the powers that be have recommended that an early warning system be installed. This system would detect the early stages of a helium leak, following an incident that has shut down the LHC until June 2009.

Anyone that has studied nuclear physics in its most basic of forms knows full well that helium is ALWAYS the weak point when it comes to potential leakages, overspills, and black hole potentiality in relation to particle matter and its sidderies and its subsidiaries.

I wrote Professor Graemme Heeps an abusive and foul mouth letter some 4 years ago when the LHC was a mere pipedream of his and gave him a piece of my mind..

I could see, even then, that this would all end in the worlds destruction and/or financial disaster, but did he listen.. no, with respect, the stupid berk didn't.

A simple, common or garden AA battery, the likes of which can be bought or pilfered from any good DIY store plus a length of copper wire and some masking tape are all that's required to fix the issues concerned - and Bob's your uncle, problem solved!

Figures have been thrown around of, 1 million, 2 million and even 3 million Libyan Dinar to put right something that should never have occurred in the first place! Now, I'm not usually one to cast aspersions, but if you ask me the entire team in charge of the LHC are INCOMPETENT OAFS. Either that or someone has there unholy snout in the trough!

Now I'm far from being a conspiracy theorist but I smell the stench of a HUGE RAT for sure and I think it's about time either the police or some other government appointed body took them to task about this.

I would get a petition going but frankly I'm a coward of the highest degree, all be it an honest and ethical one.

But at least I can sleep at night unlike the crazed insomniacs in charge of the blasted LHC!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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