Bertie Ahern Gives First Wedding Present
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington, D.C. - Today, Bertie Ahern, after reading about the Bush/Blair wedding on TheSpoof.com, presented President George W. Bush with their first wedding present. Bertie Ahern has been Teachta Dála (Member of Parliament)...
Read full storyJuneau's Bong Hits 4 Jesus started Corrupt Bastards Club karmic payback slide
Washington DC - (Ass Mess): Was a waggish 'Bong Hits 4 Jesus' schoolboy prank in 2002 the begining of a karmic payback for the Corrupt Bastards Club whose three members have just been charged in a major corruption probe into Alaskan state leg...
Read full storyVECO CEO told Corrupt Bastard Pete Kott: "I own your ass!"
Juneau, Alaska - (Ass Mess): Juneau is ablaze today with the news that three Alaskan politicians and members of the Corrupt Bastards Club have been indicted in a machiavellian corruption scam that has redefined big oil sleaze in a votes for cash and...
Read full storyBlair: SNP are insurgents
Tony Blair has hit out at the SNP, claiming they are "illegitimate and dangerous" after the Scottish party inflicted heavy losses on the government in the country's local elections.
Read full storyCorrupt Bastards Handcuffed
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Alaska - Alaska State House Representative Vic Kohring, Former state legislator Bruce Weyhrauch, and Former state legislator Pete Kott were hauled off in handcuffs as the Corrupt Bastards Club members were brought down by the F...
Read full storyParis Hilton sentenced to death
Shamed star Paris Hilton will be executed by lethal injection, a court has ruled. The heiress to the Hilton hotel chain was convicted of drink-driving by an LA court last September after a blood test showed her to be over the legal limit.
Read full storyLesbian Jail Inmates Prepare for Arrival of Paris Hilton
Los Angeles, CA - Paris Hilton better like girls. The hotel heiress was sentenced Friday to 45 days at the Century Regional Detention Center, Los Angeles County's jailhouse for women just south of downtown in Lynwood and will be sharing a cell w...
Read full storyPrince Charles to Star in New Bond Movie
London - Prince Charles will be cast in the role of British secret agent 007 in the next installment of the extraordinarily successful James Bond cinematic phenomenon.
Read full storyBush Sees Dead People
Bush: Condi... I want to tell you my secret now. I see dead people.
Read full storyBill Clinton Comes Clean
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Today, when former president Clinton was asked, "When is the last time you slept with Hillary," He immediately replied, "I did not have sexual relations with that woman."...
Read full storyMattel Releases Senorita Barbie on Cinco de Mayo!
Mattel Toys, creator of emaciated (except for her oolalas) Barbie apparently sees an opportunity to market the skinny doll in Mexico.
Read full storyBush Shaken After Richard Perle's Testimony
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington, D.C. - President George W. Bush, after hearing about the testimony of Richard Perle, was visibly shaken. When a reporter asked the president if he was involved in the 9/11 conspiracy, Bush asked, "Who me? It...
Read full storyWolfowitz and Gonzales comment on job swap
After their first days on the job in each other's former posts, US Attorney General Paul Wolfowitz and World Bank President Alberto Gonzales held a joint press conference to comment on the transition.
Read full storyParis Hilton to be laminated nude prior to prison.
Pseudo celebrity stick insect, money shot purveyor and role model, Paris Hilton has been jailed for 45 days after being found guilty of violating her probation for a drink-driving conviction.
Read full storyRichard Perle Admits 9/11 Was Made Up
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington, D.C. - Former Assistant Defense Secretary Richard Perle said that former CIA Director George Tenet is attempting to "shift responsibility" for his failure to anticipate the September 11, 2001, attacks and...
Read full storyWoman Visits Every Starbucks in Connecticut
Guilford, CT---a jittery Jessie Malekin today completed a goal she had long held: she visited and drank coffee at every Starbucks in the state of Connecticut. All told, she patronized 57 of the famous beaneries in six day's time.
Read full storyBush to Wear White Tie When He Meets Queen
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington, D.C. - Laura Bush finally got President George Bush to agree to wear a white tie when he meets the Queen at the White House. "But I don't wanna', Laura," he kept saying over and over, said Laura.
Read full storyHammers to play out rest of season with clogs on
If legal action brought about by four premiership clubs is successful the West Ham squad will be forced to play their final game of the season wearing heavy wooden clogs and chainmail.
Read full storyJudge orders Paris Hilton to wear panties for 45 days
Los Angeles, California - (Ass Mess): Lawyers acting for peroxide socialite Paris Hilton have slammed LA Judge Michael T Sauer's insistence that Paris Hilton wears panties for the 45 days' duration of her prison sentence as 'cruel and un...
Read full storyParis Hilton: my hair extension jail fears
California - (Ass Mess): Peroxide bimbette Paris Hilton has spoken for the first time about her fears regarding the fate of her unique $25,000 hair extensions "which will surely perish" among the nit-infested and cockroach-sprawling confine...
Read full storyExperience - or brains?
A friend of mine from a Secondary Modern school had built up a mass of experience in the trade, working his way up to Site Gaffer.
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth in massive 50/1 chance Imawildandcrazyguy Kentucky Derby gamble
Louisville, Kentucky - (Ass Mess): 50/1 Kentucky Derby no-hoper Imawildandcrazyguy has been the subject of a massive royal punt today amid reports that Queen Elizabeth has taken advantage of the ludicrously high pound/dollar exchange rate to back the...
Read full storyCorrupt Bastards blame satirical site for indictment on bribery charges
Juneau, Alaska - (Ass Mess): Former Alaskan state legislator and Corrupt Bastards Club elder Bruce Weyhrauch has blamed satirical website The Spoof! for his arrest and indictment on charges of conspiracy to commit extortion, extortion, bribery and fr...
Read full storySuper-leeches Are the Key to The Nation's Health
The government has stunned the nation by announcing that it is to plough billions of pounds into a breeding programme for super-leeches.
Read full storyWin Big With The Spoof's Fun Picture Quiz
Would you like to win a new set of state of the art set of cooking utensils? Well why not enter The Spoof's fun for all the family picture quiz!...
Read full storyParis Hilton's prison sentence to be filmed for TV
Paris Hilton, the air-headed heiress, was recently sentenced to 45 days prison for driving while in possession of a skinny ass. Now TV studios are fighting each other to get coverage of her stretch in jail.
Read full storyParis Hilton Gets Jail Time
Leading celebrity and socialite Miss Paris Hilton has been jailed for 45 days after, in the judges opinion, she refused to observe the conditions of her probation for a drink-driving conviction. Miss Hilton was foun...
Read full storyThai Government To Redeploy Expat Teachers
The government of Thailand has come up with a shrewd plan to combat the threatened effects of Global Warming, as predicted by the Commission for Climate Change this week. Warned that, if current tren...
Read full storyBritney Next Poster Child for Lip-synching -- Replacing Milli Vanilli?
Hollywood, California - Few would argue that Britney's 'comeback' tour has been a success, even though she has lip-synched her way through it -- customarily a music industry taboo, the death nail in a performer's coffin. Yet, virtuall...
Read full storyTata Young to become Tata Old?
Early last Thursday, 26-year old POP SENSATION, Tata Young, admitted to the General Hospital - Taipei, in the month of February, 2007 for a cosmetic surgery and...
Read full storyRain Man Becomes Love Doctor!
Researchers are excited by recent findings that the so-called "Love Hormone", oxytocin is transforming the lives of autistic adults. The hormone associated with breast-feeding and social bonding is being given to autistic adults who classic...
Read full storyGOP Hopefuls Denounce Staying and Leaving Iraq War!
Ten Republican candidates for the Presidential nomination of the Grand Ole Partay debated in the hallowed halls of the Ray-Gun Library. Each campaigner payed deference to President Ray-Gun, so much so that it seemed like the actor was still President...
Read full storyJudge Unfairly Mocked Over Missing Pants Lawsuit!
Comedians, bloggers, spoofers and even run of the mill newsprint meanies have joined dry cleaning industry lobbyists in denouncing Judge Royal Peerless for his $65 million lawsuit against Gin Ntonic, Cozmo Politan and her son Tskru Driva and their Dr...
Read full storyRacial Prejudice Found On and Off the NBA Court!
Sociologists studying the fairness of NBA referees claim that more fouls are called on black players than whites. Statiticiansky Jones of Harvard's Racial Profiling Dept reports in Ebony Magazine that 99% of NBA players are black but 99. 9% of fo...
Read full storyHurricanoe Queen Liz Hits Virginia Like A Storm!
No one really knows what to expect when British royalty hits American shores but a raucous stand-up routine shocked royals watchers on both sides of the lake! The usually staid and quite formal Queen Elizabeth the Second walked with perfect poise to the microphone at her greeting ceremony surrounding the 400th anniversary of Jamestown. Throngs of reverent admirers paused in respectful silence, onl...
Read full storyFirst Buzz, Now Woody
On April 23, 2007, it was announced that Buzz Lightyear was found in a Minnesota hotel room having convulsions, and died later that day. Now it appears that Buzz's Toy Story co-star Woody has kicked the bucket as well.
Read full storyElmo Announces Presidental Candidacy
As a shocking move on May 4th, 2007, a new presidential candidate stepped forward into the spotlight and was immediately a fan favorite. That candidate was none other than the tiny fluffy red guy from Sesame Street, Elmo.
Read full storyKentucky Derby Results Announced
Results of this year's Kentucky Derby have been announced and bettors are upset with the finish. Queen Elizabeth II of Great Britain, who went off at 263 to 1 odds, won the race by the length of a hatpin.
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth in Kentucky For Kentucky Derby
Queen Elizabeth arrived in Louisville, Kentucky for the running of the Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs. The monarch is making her sixth official visity to the United States and her first to the world's most famous horserace.
Read full storyTom Cruise Not Keeping Wife Katie Holmes A Prisoner Says Jada Pinkett Smith
Jada Pinkett Smith, wife of actor and rapper Will Smith, says that reports that Tom Cruise is keeping his wife a virtual prisoner are not true. "Katie Holmes is not a prisoner in her home or a prisoner to a relition. Tom does not use the baby...
Read full storyParis Hilton Late For Court Date for Probation Violations
Paris Hilton arrived late for a Los Angeles court date today, but claimed that keeping the judge and attorney's waiting was not her fault. "Have you seen the new shoes at Gucci? I mean, they expect me to be in some courtroom when they are...
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