Woman Visits Every Starbucks in Connecticut

Funny story written by kegoguinness

Saturday, 5 May 2007

image for Woman Visits Every Starbucks in Connecticut
A hopped-up Malekin at Starbucks # 22, in Stamford, CT

Guilford, CT---a jittery Jessie Malekin today completed a goal she had long held: she visited and drank coffee at every Starbucks in the state of Connecticut. All told, she patronized 57 of the famous beaneries in six day's time.

"It was a tough, tough, goal, but I really feel a sense of accomplishment," stammered Malekin, her pulse racing. "When I got down to the three remaining Starbucks in the state, all of them in east Bridgeport, I wanted to map out a precise strategy," said Malekin, her stained front teeth proof of her arduous task. "But, it turns out these three are all on the same block. So, I just said 'What the hell' and finished a day early."

Now back at her Guilford, Connecticut home, Malekin is said to be waiting for corporate sponsorship from Starbucks so she can afford gas money to drive to other, larger states, in hopes of repeating this amazing feat. She was not immediately available for further comment, as she was in the lavatory once again.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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