VECO CEO told Corrupt Bastard Pete Kott: "I own your ass!"

Funny story written by queen mudder

Saturday, 5 May 2007

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Juneau, Alaska - (Ass Mess): Juneau is ablaze today with the news that three Alaskan politicians and members of the Corrupt Bastards Club have been indicted in a machiavellian corruption scam that has redefined big oil sleaze in a votes for cash and cushy jobs conspiracy reaching to the heart of Alaskan government.

Two Republican members of the state legislature Pete Kott and Bruce Weyrauch played fast and loose with voters' trust in their dealings with VECO, the oil industry's sanitising arm which was responsble inter alia for environmental as well as political clean-ups of the Exxon Valdez disaster.

Indictment papers filed against them today show that Kott did a deal with VECO that totally sucked in terms of probity, legality, honesty and standards expected of elected public officials:

"I had to cheat, steal, beg, borrow and lie," Kott said, according to the indictment, as if those actions were merely bog-standard membership requirements of his Corrupt Bastards Club.

And according to the indictment VECO's CEO only had one reply to Kott's whining rant:

"I own your ass!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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