Written by Robert W. Armijo

Saturday, 5 May 2007

image for Britney Next Poster Child for Lip-synching -- Replacing Milli Vanilli?
Britney: The Next Poster Child for Lip-synchning? Replacing 1989 Grammy Arward Winning duet, Milli Vanilli?

Hollywood, California - Few would argue that Britney's 'comeback' tour has been a success, even though she has lip-synched her way through it -- customarily a music industry taboo, the death nail in a performer's coffin. Yet, virtually none of Britney's concertgoers or many critics seem to mind; nevertheless it has left music executives very nervous that Britney will replace Milli Vanilii as the industry's next poster child for lip-synching, hurting their bottom line.

Though publicly silent on the matter, music executives privately turned to the spirit world for guidance in this time of crisis. Secretly consulting a ghost whisper to find out what the late member of the 1989 Grammy Award winning musical group, Milli Vanilli -- whose musical careers were destroyed and more importantly resulted in the loss of millions more in royalties for music executives, over such a lip-synching incident -- would have to say about Britney's lip-synching today.

In the old Capital Records building in Hollywood, California, top music executives gathered in a vacant office. Drawing both window shades and spirits back down to Earth, they consulted with their ghost whisper.

Channeling the passed-on member of Milli Vanilli, the ghost whisper began to speak, "Gentlemen, I assure you, even before you contacted me, I could hear him -- Milli or maybe Vanilli -- turning in his grave, calling out to me."

"Tell us, oh sprit from the beyond," said a music executive through the ghost whisper, "How do you feel about Britney's lip-synching?"

"I'm really pissed-off!" replied a thundering disembodied voice.

"What should we do about it, Oh spirit?" continued the music executive.

"Tell her, tell her --" repeated the disembodied voice.

"Yes, we're listening spirit," interceded the ghost whisper.

"-- Tell her to sing along with the sound track that way she's technically not lip-synching…Oh, and stop chewing gum while pretending to sing. That way people won't notice so much that her lips don't match the words she's trying to mimic like they did with me," said the disembodied voice before it fading away, again.

"Thank you! Oh, spirit, thank you," cheered the music executives giving high-fives to each other.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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