CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Today, when former president Clinton was asked, "When is the last time you slept with Hillary," He immediately replied, "I did not have sexual relations with that woman."
Ever since Hillary has been on the campaign trail, says Mr. Clinton, he and Hillary have not been able to have sex. "Even when she's home," said Clinton, "I just can't get it up. She's not fat and ugly anymore the way I like 'em. Even Monica Lewinsky had to go and lose weight and get plastic surgery. It's just hard to find fat, ugly interns to have sex with anymore."
Hillary, when asked for comment, said, "Now that I've found Barack Obama, I don't CARE what Bill does. We have an open marriage and we do whatever we want."
Ex-President Clinton said that if Hillary wins the presidency, he'll have a whole new group of interns in the White House from which to chose. "I'm pullin' for Billary all the way," said Bill. "It'll be Hillary and Bill in the White House again. Two for the price of one. I'll even play my saxophone at the inauguration."