Orlando, Florida - (Rioters): General David H Petraeus, commander of the Multi-National Force in Iraq, is the prime suspect in the dumping of a surface-to-air missile launcher at gun amnesty in the city of Orlando.
The hardware was handed in this week under the no-questions-asked "Kicks for Guns" scheme that promised everybody at leat $50 for each item handed over.
The 4ft rocket launcher arrived anonymously "but bore all the hallmarks of General Petraeus himself" with catchy give-away slogans etched on its side such as "Surge 'R' US".
Other items of interest handed in to Orlando gun amnesty police were twenty ground-to-air heat-seeeking missiles, five combat helicopters, two dozen automatic machine guns, three hand-held rocket launchers, two gross hand grenades, a crate of official-issue cluster bombs, two tonnes of dynamite and a defective bullet-proof vest.
After inspecting the haul, police spokeswoman Sgt Barbara Jones said:
"OMG! F****ng Hell!" You never know what you're going to get these days!"
