Duracell Announces New Battery for Sex Toys

Funny story written by Warren Redlich

Sunday, 19 August 2007


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image for Duracell Announces New Battery for Sex Toys
Jenna Jameson's new Duracell Sex Toy

Duracell, a Procter and Gamble subsidiary, announced Monday that it has developed a new battery technology. The company has been a leader in Lithium Manganese Dioxide batteries, and the new battery builds on that chemistry. The technology is particularly appropriate for use in sex toys, and should be available in stores by the third quarter of 2008.

Duracell scientists discovered that the addition of Viagra to the chemical mix led to far greater battery life. The combination also "puts the juice out steadily over the hours," noted Jenna Jameson, a porn star who is serving as spokeswoman for Duracell in the erotic toy market.

The new Duracell battery's characteristics make it a strong contender for use in vibrators and other sex toys. Playing on the company's trademark "Copper Top", the new Duracell will be called the Copper Head. The company is also planning to market its own line of vibrators with the same name. The Duracell Copper Head sex toys will be promoted within a series of instructional porn films starring Jenna Jameson.

Analysts predict that Energizer will match the new battery using Levitra or Cialis, but both companies declined comment on any such speculation.

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