Boffin feels a right tit

Funny story written by monkeyman

Sunday, 19 August 2007

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US research boffin, Dr Derek Lambeth, has just received US$3 Million US government funding to carry out research into breasts.

In an interview with The Spoof Dr Lambeth said "I think alot about breasts, boobs, tits, call them what you will, and I thought that these thoughts could add to the World's knowledge base on mammary glands.

"I am currently working on a hypothesis that there is some, currently unknown, tactile index which can be attribute to the breast which may, or may not, collerate with such things as intelligence, longevity and ..... um, other things. Certain measurements will have to be made, e.g. breast size, hand feel, etc. and to ensure consistency, I will be taking all measurements personally."

Dr Lambeth is calling for female volunteers, aged 18 to 40, to be included in his experiments. As yet no payment will be made to volunteers but Dr Lambeth has assured us that such things as meals, show tickets, hotel rooms and holidays will be available for the right candidates.

Anyone interested in the research should contact Dr Lambeth on Toll Free 800-789.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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