Australia, Sydney (The Lies) - Leader of the opposition Kevin Rudd has admitted to visiting "Scores" of strip clubs throughout his visits to the United States of America. A Opposition of Foreign Affairs spokesman at the time, he has reportedly been spending millions of tax payers dollars on, as he stated, "little escapades".
At a press conference earlier today Mr Rudd, or "The Pervert" as he as been called among right-winged Christians, stated that, "What's wrong with me spending your money on my enjoyment? You're all a bunch of tight asses, where's the real Australia, the ice crazed, drunk and depressed Australia. That's the Australia I would want to lead, not this conservative Christian crap.". He later went on to pass out and was dragged off stage by Julia Gillard.
However, it hasn't been all bad for "The Pervert" as political polls have soared, showing the world the real Australia a misogynistic, hedonisitic and drunk society, addicted to drugs and kangaroo meat. Mr Howard only had this to say on the matter, "Like WTF, why is some bald-headed leader of the opposition getting all the action, how about a little for the Prime Minister or as I like to call myself, 'Little Johnny'.".