Written by Robert W. Armijo

Sunday, 19 August 2007

image for Gay/Lesbian group pleads with Britney: Get back into the Closet or stay a Breeder, please!
Britney hurting the Gay/Lesbian Cause

Hollywood, California - With the recent rumored sexual romp with her assistant, Shannon Funk, Britney is now facing allegations regarding her sexual reorientation, which has a Gay/Lesbian group pleading with her to go back into the 'closet' or stay a Breeder.

"We have worked too hard to present a clean wholesome family image," said Sam Miles, director of the West Hollywood Gay/Lesbian Center. "We don't need anyone messing that image up, especially Britney."

The Gay/Lesbian group points out that for centuries the image of a gay person was associated with a lifestyle of sexual promiscuity, substance abuse and self-destructive behavior, due in part to a lack of societal acceptance.

"Britney doesn't have that problem," said Miles. "Everybody loves her and she's screwing that it up."

It is preferred that she would have not come out of the closet or remained straight as she is a major public relations nightmare, according to Miles.

"If she is a lesbian or bisexual, she's really not helping The Cause any," said Miles.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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