A knuckleball pitcher for Swamp State College throws a 4-0 no-hitter against Ohio State

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 4 May 2023

image for A knuckleball pitcher for Swamp State College throws a 4-0 no-hitter against Ohio State
Knuckleball pitchers are a unique breed of pitcher.

In a stunning upset, the underdog Swamp State Crocodiles triumphed over the formidable Ohio State Buckeyes baseball team, as reported by Sportsapalooza journalist Pia Confetti.

Confetti highlighted the extraordinary performance of 18-year-old freshman Herb "Knucky" Caxton, the Crocs' knuckleballer extraordinaire. With an impressive display of skill, Caxton struck out a staggering 22 players, flawlessly preventing any balls from leaving the infield.

Remarkably, Caxton relied solely on his slow-moving, fluttering 41-mph crawling knuckleball, eschewing the traditional repertoire of curveballs, sliders, sinkers, forkballs, or screwballs. His unconventional style baffled the Buckeyes and secured a glorious victory for the Crocs.

In an endearing twist, Caxton, donning the number 13 jersey, shared a heartwarming anecdote with Miss Confetti. He revealed that his dairy farmer grandfather had made a promise: if Caxton threw a no-hitter, he would receive the gift of three prized milk cows.

As the young pitcher basks in the glory of his no-hitter, Herb clings to the advice of his grandfather, that if baseball doesn't work out, he can always rely on the lucrative dairy farming business. Three cows might be a good start, but he'll have to up his game and knuckle-down if he's going to make bank.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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