The reason why March Madness executives may ban Boston from hosting 2024 games

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 12 July 2023

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Angry Bostonians say that they're not as bigoted as fans from Alabama

Sports Territory reporter Hiawatha Pamplona has dropped a bombshell: The NCAA Basketball Tournament Rules & Policy Committee is considering banning Boston from hosting any March Madness games in 2024. The committee's rationale? Well, it's a blend of the peculiar and the perplexing!

The committee cited two reasons for this eyebrow-raising contemplation. First, they suggest that Boston has a history of, well, not exactly winning any 'most inclusive city' awards. It's almost as if the city were auditioning for a role in a sitcom about 'March Monsters.'

Secondly, and here comes the kicker, brace yourself, folks—Boston's culinary reputation has come into question! Apparently, the famed Boston Crab, once hailed as a seafood sensation, has lost some of its pizzazz over the past few years. You heard it right, the committee is criticizing crabs!

Assistant Mayor Stella Overlooker, a defender of all things crustacean, chimed in, admitting that while the crab may have lost its 'oomph,' there might be a perfectly bizarre explanation. She hinted at a crabby conspiracy, suggesting that the pinchers might contain a tad too much mercury for comfort.

Maybe it's not the city's fault; perhaps the crabs are simply staging a protest.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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