Funny story: Harry Maguire To Buy Some New Football Boots

Harry Maguire To Buy Some New Football Boots

Harry Maguire, the fresh-faced, good-looking golden boy of English football, who signed for Manchester United for £80million from Leicester City on Monday, says he might buy some new football boots, as a special treat to himself for becoming the most...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Signs Affidavit Not To Let Jamie Vardy Score On September 14th

Harry Maguire Signs Affidavit Not To Let Jamie Vardy Score On September 14th

New Manchester United defender, Harry Maguire, who signed for the Reds from Leicester City for £80million on Monday, has signed a second legal document, an affidavit with the club's solicitors affirming that, when his new club meet his old club at Ol...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Has Had 'Second Thoughts' About Manchester United

Harry Maguire Has Had 'Second Thoughts' About Manchester United

Having previously told news reporters he would never sign for Premier League football giants Manchester United because he hated them, Harry Maguire has now had 'second thoughts', and signed for the Reds on Monday, for a ridiculous £97million. Magu...

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Funny story: Business Roundup with The Money

Business Roundup with The Money

"Hi, this is Geoff Dosh." "And I'm Geoff Wonga." "Welcome to The Money. Let's have a look at all the money. In Britain, the money was down. In the EU, the money was unchanged. In the US and China the money was up. Tune in tomorrow to check on h...

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Funny story: Wimbledon: Roger Federer v. Novak Djokovic Match To Be Attended By Pair Of Parasites

Wimbledon: Roger Federer v. Novak Djokovic Match To Be Attended By Pair Of Parasites

Tomorrow's Wimbledon Men's Singles final between number seed, Roger Federer, and tournament favorite and number 1 seed, Novak Djokovic, is to have two special guests: the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Windsor, and her sister-in-law, the Duchess of Cambri...

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Funny story: Fourth Of July Celebrations Labeled "Shit" By Man

Fourth Of July Celebrations Labeled "Shit" By Man

As the crowds left a rain-soaked Lincoln Memorial in Washington DC last night, having witnessed a 'no expenses spared' military showcase extravaganza to rival anything seen before, one man was already berating the tremendous waste of money expended o...

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Funny story: The Feudal Reserve to print in blood

The Feudal Reserve to print in blood

Sleepy Hallow, Connecticut - Chairman of the Feudal Reserve, Graat “The Shark” White, held a small press conference here today to announce a plan to save on ink used for printing currency. “We only profit from the value of the money we print, b...

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Funny story: Trump's Face To Appear On New $1 And $1,000 Bills

Trump's Face To Appear On New $1 And $1,000 Bills

News is just emerging from Washington that new currency bills of $1 and $1,000 denominations will be issued in September this year, bearing the face of President Donald J. Trump. Whilst there will be no color change to the green $1 bill, the $1,00...

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Funny story: Car Boot Sale Shut Down After Concerns Over The Quality Of Goods On Sale

Car Boot Sale Shut Down After Concerns Over The Quality Of Goods On Sale

A car boot sale that has been under the spotlight of consumer watchdogs for more than two years, has finally been shut down, after severe concerns about the quality of the items on sale. The sale, which has been held on Walton Street Car Park in H...

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Funny story: Man Deliberated For Too Long

Man Deliberated For Too Long

A man who was in two minds as to whether or not he should buy a pair of Adidas trainers he had seen in the window of a charity shop, decided to "have a think" about it, and was, subsequently left disappointed when he returned to the shop later to fin...

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Funny story: New York Woman Sees Every Reason to Trust Facebook's New Currency System

New York Woman Sees Every Reason to Trust Facebook's New Currency System

Angela Maddock of New York City was intrigued when she heard about the new global currency recently announced by Facebook, which the company has been developing in secret over the past year. "I've never once had the Facebook site go down, whereas...

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Funny story: People Still Go To Church On Sunday While Cheating On Each Other And Looking For More Money, According To Report

People Still Go To Church On Sunday While Cheating On Each Other And Looking For More Money, According To Report

After surveys and statistical data were analyzed at the University of Colorado last week, the results indicated that people actually do cheat on each other constantly, while looking for more money as they steadfastly maintain a need to go to Church e...

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Funny story: Millionaires given yet more trophies

Millionaires given yet more trophies

This is a world where people get paid a lot of money to learn the words that other people write, wear the expensive clothes that other people design, and win awards that other people make, and a few thousand other people vote for. Yes, that's right, it is Awards season,again. With the Oscars, The National Television Awards, and Donald Trump's two new awards - The Fake News Awards and The Empty...

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Funny story: Kobe Bryant Makes It Clear He Will Not Be Taking A Pay Cut

Kobe Bryant Makes It Clear He Will Not Be Taking A Pay Cut

LOS ANGELES - Kobe Bryant is one of the wealthiest athletes in all of sports. According to The Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency he has a net worth of $200 million. Sports Balls Illustrated Daily is reporting that Bryant made $26 million for the p...

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Funny story: Robin Williams and Wife Set to Divorce Over His Excessive Hair

Robin Williams and Wife Set to Divorce Over His Excessive Hair

Comedian Robin Williams and his long-suffering wife are set to divorce after she filed against him claiming 'irreconcilable differences'.

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Funny story: A Broke, International Olympic Committee Forced To Ask Bill Gates For Money

A Broke, International Olympic Committee Forced To Ask Bill Gates For Money

ATHENS, GREECE-- With a slump in ticket sales and empty seats that haven't been filled, the International Olympic Committee is facing a major issue. Over the last few years they have accumulated over 30 billion dollars in debt and expenses for a...

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Funny story: Bush visit to cost about 4 wars worth of cash

Bush visit to cost about 4 wars worth of cash

America's premiere, George "Double-Yoo" Bush, is set to cost Britain four times as much money as the Iraq War. The figures, released today by a bunch of local men from a nearby pub, have startled and shocked the public, as James Monroe...

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Funny story: Northern Rock goes down the pan

Northern Rock goes down the pan

City of London - (Disaster Press): UK mortgage lender Northern Rock is going down the toilet pan and has had to ask the Bank of England to bail it out with a massive billion pound tide-over.

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Funny story: Report: ATM Not Sorry You Have Insufficient Funds

Report: ATM Not Sorry You Have Insufficient Funds

More problems arose today for the nation's beleaguered banks when it was revealed that all of their Automated-Teller Machines are not actually sorry that you have insufficient funds. The shocking revelation was outlined in a report released by the FS...

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Funny story: NASA Explains InSight Probe And All Other Space Exploration

NASA Explains InSight Probe And All Other Space Exploration

NASA officials have defended the space agency's InSight probe to discover the interior structure of Mars, after facing pointed criticism, earlier in the week, that the project was an "astronomical waste of money". The landing on the surface of Ma...

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