Who Wants To Be a Trllionaire? You, Because You Already Are One!
For centuries people have complained that they're poor because they have little or no money in their wallet or purse or geeky fanny-pack, but new insights have come forth that would seem to contradict the concept of rich or poor. Eminent math egg-…
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The Feudal Reserve to print in blood
Sleepy Hallow, Connecticut - Chairman of the Feudal Reserve, Graat “The Shark” White, held a small press conference here today to announce a plan to save on ink used for printing currency. “We only profit from the value of the money we print, b...
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Robin Williams and Wife Set to Divorce Over His Excessive Hair
Comedian Robin Williams and his long-suffering wife are set to divorce after she filed against him claiming 'irreconcilable differences'.
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Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire Now Valued At Only £80
The Premer League season may only have kicked off three weeks ago, but after a disastrous weekend for Manchester United, when they were humbled 6-1 by Tottenham Hotspur at Old Trafford, fans are keen to offload 'liability' central defender and captai…
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Marcus Rashford To Donate 90% Of His Salary To Hungry Kids Campaign
Marcus Rashford, the Manchester United and England striker who has done so much for hungry children by petitioning the government for free school meals during the lockdown, has "put his money where his mouth is", and has vowed to donate 90% of his sa…
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Economists Predict Big Pay Increases for Economists
New York City, NY - A group of economists at the New York Institute of Economics published a report forecasting a large increase in the salaries and rates paid to economists. Samuel Himes, one of the economists involved in preparing the report, said:...
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America Not Ready for Trump Dollars, Announces Trump
IMF Explains How World Debt Crisis Is To Be Solved By "Imaginary Economics"
Spoof Points Now Redeemable In Stores
Customers Unsettled By Bank PR Campaigns
Hefner's Wife Tells All
Harry Maguire Has Had 'Second Thoughts' About Manchester United
Banks Are Stealing All Your Money
Lucky Doreen Scoops A Fortune!
People Still Go To Church On Sunday While Cheating On Each Other And Looking For More Money, According To Report
Northwest Derby Expected To Be A Classic!
Harry Maguire To Retire From Football
Man Finds Money In Street
A guide to cryptocurrency
Can't tell your Lolcoin from your Kardashian marks? Well never fear, Geoff Swag here. I'm going to tell you all you need to know about cryptocurrencies. Nowadays every c**t has got their own cryptocurrency. Even Timmy Mallett has his "Malletts". Y…
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UK To Reintroduce Pre-Decimal Currency
In the latest in a series of wacky inward-looking post-Brexit moves, the government has announced - much to the delight of Euro-haters - its intention to scrap the present system of currency used, and to revert back to the pounds, shillings and pence…
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Ray Winstone Lands EastEnders Part
Ray Winstone, the star of the cult 1979 movie, 'Scum', and 2000's 'Sexy Beast', is to make a guest star appearance in the upcoming Christmas edition of BBC soap, EastEnders, it has been revealed. He will then become a full member of the cast. Wins...
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Man Finds Out He Is Going To Have To Do The Same Amount Of Work, For 40% Less Money
There was a nasty surprise in store for one man last week, when a meeting with his supervisor alerted him to the fact that, for the forseeable future, he is going to have to do exactly the same amount of work he usually does, but will be paid only 60…
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John Terry to move back into Barking council house
The mysterious finances of Chelsea skipper John Terry took another twist last night when he and his family moved back to the area where he was born - straight into a four bed council house. The 'stun' newspaper revealed he remortgaged his home in...
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Casino will offer direct pay flat fee option to premium customers
Mel Stacksmiller, VP of New Business for the Darkstar Casino Group today announced a list of new “Elite Membership” packages to be made available in September at all their casinos. One of the most unique offerings is the top-of-the-line Platinum…
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Ron Paul's Excess Campaign Donations Pay National Debt Shortfall
30 Sep 07, CLUTE, TX, USNA-- Ron Paul's presidential campaign announces its volunteers have begun paying the national debt shortfall of the United States of North America on an ongoing basis. Campaign director Jesse Benton describes the effort as...
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The Golden Fleece Awards Restored For Government Waste
For many years, the late Wisconson Senator William Proxmire gave away prizes, called the Golden Fleece Awards, for excesses in government spending. Former winners included an $84,000 study to determine why people fall in love, another government fun...
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Mystery proposal for Trump's wall (WMP) sends ambulances screaming through the night
A dramatic new solution to funding The Wall has emerged. Where this idea came from is unclear, possibly inspired by former president George W. Bush yesterday. Mr. Bush delivered a stack of pizzas to government workers without pay due to the shu...
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Man Forced To Economize After Further Salary Cut
A man who, only weeks ago, was told that he would be receiving his full salary again after an earlier pay cut, has been told to brace himself once more, as a 50% reduction in remuneration will come into force from Monday. Five days before Christma…
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Car Boot Sale Shut Down After Concerns Over The Quality Of Goods On Sale
A car boot sale that has been under the spotlight of consumer watchdogs for more than two years, has finally been shut down, after severe concerns about the quality of the items on sale. The sale, which has been held on Walton Street Car Park in H...
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Bad breath rates 'rise when economy is booming'
Bad breath rates among middle-aged workers go up during economic booms and dip when we are heading for a recession, according to W.H.O. (World Halitosis Organization). These breath-taking findings come from a survey of the GDP and bad-breath rates...
Read full storyFunny Money Headlines
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George W. Bush gives everyone's money to fat rich bastards
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Money No Longer Worth The Paper It's Printed On
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Miley Cyrus Called "Village Idiot"!
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Donald Trump Proposes New $1 Billion Dollar Bill
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To Appear on Paper Money - Elvis, Goofy and Sequoia Trees?
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Daily Mail Fury as new sterling contract goes to Poland when Queen abdicates
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Harry Maguire To Save Bolton And Bury
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Paul Pogba Wants More Money
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Kathy Griffin Is Alleging That She Received Some Hush Money From President Trump
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Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire Says He Wishes He Had A Tenner For Every Spoof Written About Him
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John Edwards Worked Hard For His Money
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Northern Rock goes down the pan
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Illuminati Hoarding Gold Prior to 9/11; Ron Paul Commemoratives Still Available
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Human brain responds to Obama as it does to money and chocolate
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Lloyds TSB Merges With HBOS, Economist Warns Customers "Withdraw Your Savings!"
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Report: ATM Not Sorry You Have Insufficient Funds
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Justin Bieber Robs A Bank!
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Supermarket Mergers, Pacts And Other Such Shit
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Where are they now? Winston Bogarde, "Footballer"
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Coronavirus On Recovery: "Over My Dead Body!"
