Harry Maguire To Buy Some New Football Boots
Harry Maguire, the fresh-faced, good-looking golden boy of English football, who signed for Manchester United for £80million from Leicester City on Monday, says he might buy some new football boots, as a special treat to himself for becoming the most...
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Harry Maguire Signs Affidavit Not To Let Jamie Vardy Score On September 14th
New Manchester United defender, Harry Maguire, who signed for the Reds from Leicester City for £80million on Monday, has signed a second legal document, an affidavit with the club's solicitors affirming that, when his new club meet his old club at Ol...
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Harry Maguire Has Had 'Second Thoughts' About Manchester United
Having previously told news reporters he would never sign for Premier League football giants Manchester United because he hated them, Harry Maguire has now had 'second thoughts', and signed for the Reds on Monday, for a ridiculous £97million. Magu...
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Business Roundup with The Money
"Hi, this is Geoff Dosh." "And I'm Geoff Wonga." "Welcome to The Money. Let's have a look at all the money. In Britain, the money was down. In the EU, the money was unchanged. In the US and China the money was up. Tune in tomorrow to check on h...
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Wimbledon: Roger Federer v. Novak Djokovic Match To Be Attended By Pair Of Parasites
Tomorrow's Wimbledon Men's Singles final between number seed, Roger Federer, and tournament favorite and number 1 seed, Novak Djokovic, is to have two special guests: the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Windsor, and her sister-in-law, the Duchess of Cambri...
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Fourth Of July Celebrations Labeled "Shit" By Man
As the crowds left a rain-soaked Lincoln Memorial in Washington DC last night, having witnessed a 'no expenses spared' military showcase extravaganza to rival anything seen before, one man was already berating the tremendous waste of money expended o...
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Lottery Winner Warned About Giving Up Work
GOP name goes public - to be sold to highest bidder
Katie Price Bumper Book Deal
Mothers and Fathers Day to be Scrapped for one 'Favourite Parent Day'
CEO of Avaian Accounting Inc. Accused of Counting Chickens Before They Hatch
Pfizer Earnings Up 1177% on Sudafed Sales to Methamphetamine Labs
George W. Bush gives everyone's money to fat rich bastards
G20 agree to three month 'best before date' on money
Prostitutes Rally for Price Supports
Sperm Banks ATM Machines Not The Best Idea!
Printing Money Solution
Trump: the Dart of the Eel
The Feudal Reserve to print in blood
Sleepy Hallow, Connecticut - Chairman of the Feudal Reserve, Graat “The Shark” White, held a small press conference here today to announce a plan to save on ink used for printing currency. “We only profit from the value of the money we print, b...
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Trump's Face To Appear On New $1 And $1,000 Bills
News is just emerging from Washington that new currency bills of $1 and $1,000 denominations will be issued in September this year, bearing the face of President Donald J. Trump. Whilst there will be no color change to the green $1 bill, the $1,00...
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Car Boot Sale Shut Down After Concerns Over The Quality Of Goods On Sale
A car boot sale that has been under the spotlight of consumer watchdogs for more than two years, has finally been shut down, after severe concerns about the quality of the items on sale. The sale, which has been held on Walton Street Car Park in H...
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Man Deliberated For Too Long
A man who was in two minds as to whether or not he should buy a pair of Adidas trainers he had seen in the window of a charity shop, decided to "have a think" about it, and was, subsequently left disappointed when he returned to the shop later to fin...
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New York Woman Sees Every Reason to Trust Facebook's New Currency System
Angela Maddock of New York City was intrigued when she heard about the new global currency recently announced by Facebook, which the company has been developing in secret over the past year. "I've never once had the Facebook site go down, whereas...
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People Still Go To Church On Sunday While Cheating On Each Other And Looking For More Money, According To Report
After surveys and statistical data were analyzed at the University of Colorado last week, the results indicated that people actually do cheat on each other constantly, while looking for more money as they steadfastly maintain a need to go to Church e...
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Millionaires given yet more trophies
This is a world where people get paid a lot of money to learn the words that other people write, wear the expensive clothes that other people design, and win awards that other people make, and a few thousand other people vote for. Yes, that's right, it is Awards season,again. With the Oscars, The National Television Awards, and Donald Trump's two new awards - The Fake News Awards and The Empty...
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Kobe Bryant Makes It Clear He Will Not Be Taking A Pay Cut
LOS ANGELES - Kobe Bryant is one of the wealthiest athletes in all of sports. According to The Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency he has a net worth of $200 million. Sports Balls Illustrated Daily is reporting that Bryant made $26 million for the p...
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A Broke, International Olympic Committee Forced To Ask Bill Gates For Money
ATHENS, GREECE-- With a slump in ticket sales and empty seats that haven't been filled, the International Olympic Committee is facing a major issue. Over the last few years they have accumulated over 30 billion dollars in debt and expenses for a...
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Bush visit to cost about 4 wars worth of cash
America's premiere, George "Double-Yoo" Bush, is set to cost Britain four times as much money as the Iraq War. The figures, released today by a bunch of local men from a nearby pub, have startled and shocked the public, as James Monroe...
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Report: ATM Not Sorry You Have Insufficient Funds
More problems arose today for the nation's beleaguered banks when it was revealed that all of their Automated-Teller Machines are not actually sorry that you have insufficient funds. The shocking revelation was outlined in a report released by the FS...
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NASA Explains InSight Probe And All Other Space Exploration
NASA officials have defended the space agency's InSight probe to discover the interior structure of Mars, after facing pointed criticism, earlier in the week, that the project was an "astronomical waste of money". The landing on the surface of Ma...
Read full storyFunny Money Headlines
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President Bush Ends the U.S. Deficit !
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Lucas Unhappy, 'Needs More Damn Money'
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Dollar Devalued
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Worlds richest man dies
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Freddie Mac And Fannie Mae Collapse; Bush Speaks Out
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Tories Soliciting For Funds...Again!
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Transfer Speculation Part Three
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Life Continues to Get “Bettor and Bettor” for Gambling Addict
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Man Finds $10 In His Pocket
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Lottery Winner Gives Up Mansion In Florida And Moves To The Midwest To Fulfill Life-Long Dream Of Working In A Library
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Money spinner
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Money Now Worth Nothing.
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Pope Sues Over Poster
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John Terry to move back into Barking council house
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Americans Anxiously Await Matt Damon's Views on Wall Street Abuses and Economy
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Greece votes to manufacture own Euros
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Dyson money sanitisers now on sale
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Canada's new phunny munny
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Where are they now? Winston Bogarde, "Footballer"
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Spoof Writers Reach Agreement Over Pay Offer
