Slacker Struggles to Pretend COVID-19 Has Negatively Affected Him
In the midst of the financial downturn as a result of the COVID-19 epidemic, Sam Josephson of Brooklyn, New York, who admitted to being somewhat of a "slacker," has struggled to maintain the façade that the coronavirus crisis has negatively affected...
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Coronavirus Is God's Way Of Dealing With Capitalism
Financial analysts say that the Coronavirus is God's way of dealing with the capitalist system of economics, and that the entire mechanism is in danger of crumbling across the globe. The virus, Covid-19, which originated in China, has killed nearl...
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Kathy Griffin Is Alleging That She Received Some Hush Money From President Trump
LOS ANGELES – Kathy Griffin recently stated that she can no longer keep quiet about her and President Trump. The 59-year-old comedian said that, some years ago, before "President Bone Spurs" married Melania, she had a tryst with the man who now l...
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Business Roundup with The Money
"Hi, this is Geoff Dosh." "And I'm Geoff Wonga." "Welcome to The Money. Let's have a look at all the money. In Britain, the money was down. In the EU, the money was unchanged. In the US and China the money was up. Tune in tomorrow to check on h...
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Russia Wants Trump To Get Re-Elected and Donates $67.5 Million To His Re-Election Campaign
NEW YORK CITY – The New York Sun Observer is reporting that a reliable source inside the White House has just revealed some very interesting information. The source who will simply be known as Finola Sprywillow, 31, told the Sun Observer that she...
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Nashville Man Unsuccessfully Tries to Turn on a Dime
One day during his lunch break, Justin Cooley noticed a thin silver coin lying on a sidewalk in downtown Nashville - and was at an utter loss as to how to respond. "I know you're supposed to turn on a dime," he said. "But how the heck do you do i...
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Old Lady Arrested Outside Bank
Poker thieves nab 273 quadrillion chips
Woman Admits Going to Company Lunch Only for Free Food
Life Continues to Get “Bettor and Bettor” for Gambling Addict
NASA Explains InSight Probe And All Other Space Exploration
Car Boot Sale Shut Down After Concerns Over The Quality Of Goods On Sale
People Still Go To Church On Sunday While Cheating On Each Other And Looking For More Money, According To Report
Rate of Wealth Transfer to Rich People Remains Steady after Yellen Testimony
Mary Todd Lincoln's DNA Found In New Mexico
Homeless People Very Excited About NASA's 2 Billion Dollar Moon Rock Scooper
Where are they now? Winston Bogarde, "Footballer"
Americans Anxiously Await Matt Damon's Views on Wall Street Abuses and Economy
Ray Winstone Lands EastEnders Part
Ray Winstone, the star of the cult 1979 movie, 'Scum', and 2000's 'Sexy Beast', is to make a guest star appearance in the upcoming Christmas edition of BBC soap, EastEnders, it has been revealed. He will then become a full member of the cast. Wins...
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Manchester United's Harry Maguire Challenges Liverpool's Andy Robertson To A Snooker Match
They played in the same Premier League team in 2017, but central defender, Harry Maguire, and left-back, Andy Robertson, have gone up in the world since then, and the two friends are now star players for Manchester United and Liverpool, respectively.
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Harry Maguire To Buy Some New Football Boots
Harry Maguire, the fresh-faced, good-looking golden boy of English football, who signed for Manchester United for £80million from Leicester City on Monday, says he might buy some new football boots, as a special treat to himself for becoming the most...
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Harry Maguire Signs Affidavit Not To Let Jamie Vardy Score On September 14th
New Manchester United defender, Harry Maguire, who signed for the Reds from Leicester City for £80million on Monday, has signed a second legal document, an affidavit with the club's solicitors affirming that, when his new club meet his old club at Ol...
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Sajid Javid May Have Stolen One Million 50p Brexit Coins
Master of the Mint, Sajid Javid, is being held by officers from Scotland Yard this morning, after it was discovered a huge haul of special Brexit celebration 50p coins could not be accounted for. The commemorative coins should have gone into gener...
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Forbes reveals the world's 10 richest people if the slave trade becomes legal again
Usually, Forbes publishes the Top 10 lists of people that have more than you will ever dream of having, but this time they decided to make a list of the people that own you. 1) Jeff Bezos Yes...when you created your Amazon account, you didn’t rea...
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Harry Maguire Has Had 'Second Thoughts' About Manchester United
Having previously told news reporters he would never sign for Premier League football giants Manchester United because he hated them, Harry Maguire has now had 'second thoughts', and signed for the Reds on Monday, for a ridiculous £97million. Magu...
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Innovative Financing Company Offers Principal-Free, Interest-Only Cash "Gifts"
Tired of sending a huge chunk of your monthly income to pay the interest on loans while never seeing the principal even budge? Well, the innovative financing company Cash Cow, Inc., is disrupting the traditional lending business by offering principal...
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Trump's Face To Appear On New $1 And $1,000 Bills
News is just emerging from Washington that new currency bills of $1 and $1,000 denominations will be issued in September this year, bearing the face of President Donald J. Trump. Whilst there will be no color change to the green $1 bill, the $1,00...
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Harry Maguire To Save Bolton And Bury
The futures of the two football clubs under threat of expulsion from the Football League due to financial reasons, Bury F.C. and Bolton Wanderers, are secure tonight, after Manchester United's record £80million defender Harry Maguire stepped in to gu...
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Millionaires given yet more trophies
This is a world where people get paid a lot of money to learn the words that other people write, wear the expensive clothes that other people design, and win awards that other people make, and a few thousand other people vote for. Yes, that's right, it is Awards season,again. With the Oscars, The National Television Awards, and Donald Trump's two new awards - The Fake News Awards and The Empty...
Read full storyFunny Money Headlines
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Report: ATM Not Sorry You Have Insufficient Funds
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G20 agree to three month 'best before date' on money
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US Tests Fish Currency Program
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Jobs Crisis OVER: Wage Slavery Up 3%!
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Banks Reply to Greece
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Harry Maguire To Feature On New £50 Note?
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Fourth Of July Celebrations Labeled "Shit" By Man
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Wimbledon: Roger Federer v. Novak Djokovic Match To Be Attended By Pair Of Parasites
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Hillary refuses VP spot on Bloomberg-Clinton ticket
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Donald Trump Says He Has Just Ordered The Treasury Department To Print Up A New U.S. Dollar Bill With His Likeness
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Government Work
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Billionaires Start $60 Million Dollar Education Effort
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Tom Cruise Buys Oprah Couch
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The Truth Is That It IS All About The Money For Jessie J - 'Domino' All About Ker-ching!
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Payday Loans Come Under Scrutiny As Interest Charges Reach 760,000% APR
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Miley Cyrus Called "Village Idiot"!
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Armageddon IS ... "The Bank of Atlantis "
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Pensioner Gunned Down in London
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New Board Game called "BANKER" Sweeping the World
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No more taxes: here is how it will work
