Man Deliberated For Too Long
A man who was in two minds as to whether or not he should buy a pair of Adidas trainers he had seen in the window of a charity shop, decided to "have a think" about it, and was, subsequently left disappointed when he returned to the shop later to fin...
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Affluent Homelessness on the Rise
More people are drawn to living a life of offensive mockery. Many are not just affluent, they're ultra-wealthy and choose to live a life of pseudo-homelessness. They keep fewer possessions and decide to share more of what they do own with others.
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Robert Pattinson Likes Older Women
Twilight luminary Robert Pattinson is very rich. He is very rich because he has earned a lot of money. He has earned a lot of money because he has acted in fillums about sexy star-crossed teen vampires which offer those who don't want to use their im...
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Rich Stingy, Working People More Generous
Between 2006 and 2012, the wealthiest Americans became less generous with charitable donations, as a share of their total income, while lower- and middle-income Americans reached farther into their pockets as they witnessed the need for charity in th...
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Trump's Face To Appear On New $1 And $1,000 Bills
News is just emerging from Washington that new currency bills of $1 and $1,000 denominations will be issued in September this year, bearing the face of President Donald J. Trump. Whilst there will be no color change to the green $1 bill, the $1,00...
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No more taxes: here is how it will work
No more taxes. All the debt sold by the Federal Feserve will be canceled. Then the institution will be abolished. The Treasury itself will print all Dollars. Each Dollar printed will have an expiration date five years from the printing of the note. When this note is deposited in the bank the bank will record the expiration date whereupon the money expires. No tax forms will be required. The de...
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Pfizer Earnings Up 1177% on Sudafed Sales to Methamphetamine Labs
The Golden Fleece Awards Restored For Government Waste
Murdock cancels 2008 Presidential Election - Appoints Paul President
The Chinese get smart by innovating faster
Billionaire Claims He Is Getting Stupider
Greece votes to manufacture own Euros
Elderly couple blow life savings on Moon rock
Goldman Sachs to Give Away $100 Trillion
Man Utd Sign Raphael Sanzio for Undisclosed Fee
Merry Christmas Middle Class, Enjoy Your Foreclosure
Pentagon Admits Spending 79 Trillion Dollars On Hookers And Blow
Payday Loans Come Under Scrutiny As Interest Charges Reach 760,000% APR
Modern-Day Scrooge: "Enjoy Your Last Christmas, Suckers!"
BOSTON, MA, CHRISTMAS DAY -- Archibald C. Reilly III, born to a wealthy North Carolina family of tobacco barons in 1932, has spent his eighty-six years on this Earth with the single-minded purpose of accruing a vast amount of wealth. Through a long s...
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Mystery proposal for Trump's wall (WMP) sends ambulances screaming through the night
A dramatic new solution to funding The Wall has emerged. Where this idea came from is unclear, possibly inspired by former president George W. Bush yesterday. Mr. Bush delivered a stack of pizzas to government workers without pay due to the shu...
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Millionaires given yet more trophies
This is a world where people get paid a lot of money to learn the words that other people write, wear the expensive clothes that other people design, and win awards that other people make, and a few thousand other people vote for. Yes, that's right, it is Awards season,again. With the Oscars, The National Television Awards, and Donald Trump's two new awards - The Fake News Awards and The Empty...
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People Still Go To Church On Sunday While Cheating On Each Other And Looking For More Money, According To Report
After surveys and statistical data were analyzed at the University of Colorado last week, the results indicated that people actually do cheat on each other constantly, while looking for more money as they steadfastly maintain a need to go to Church e...
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Lottery Winner Gives Up Mansion In Florida And Moves To The Midwest To Fulfill Life-Long Dream Of Working In A Library
Claiming that he was "sick and tired" of gorgeous, scantily-clad women surrounding him all the time, beer, expensive wine, outstanding restaurant food, open bars with cool ocean breezes flowing through them, and endless romantic evenings on the beach...
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Globus militaris interruptus wreaks tsunami-like havoc in Washington
President Trump’s decision to withdraw from Syria and drawdown in Afghanistan, has the nation’s capitol in a near state of paralysis. Even FOX News has turned on the President with accusations he is “refounding ISIS.” A hullabaloo of protest ha...
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King asks Queen to donate half her fortune to save the Bank of England
Mervyn King The Governor of the Bank of England not the darts player has asked the Queen of England to donate half her personal fortune to the Bank Of England otherwise we are all going to go totally broke. The Queen of England and many colonies a...
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Foreign Currency Markets In Turmoil
There was an uncomfortable day for many in the Foreign Currency Market yesterday, with many of the world's major players involved in an erratic rollercoaster ride. The US dollar performed well against Sterling, opening at £0.75 and closing at £0.7...
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Local Man, Billions in Debt, Succeeds in Convincing Bank Manager to Stop Raising Interest Rates by Threatening to Fire Him
Washington - A local man residing on Pennsylvania Avenue, who owns dozens of business entities with billions in loans outstanding, has convinced the manager at a Washington area bank to stop the practice of raising interest rates on the loans to a "n...
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Pope Sues Over Poster
"The advert is deeply offensive to millions of Catholics" was the main objection coming from the Vatican. What advert? The offensive billboard displayed throughout Italy and beyond depicts Pope Benedict on a golf links wearing a striped tee-shirt and tartan knickerbockers. We see him waving his putter in the air and leaping for joy as the ball is about to drop into the hole at the 12th. In the...
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Manhattan Woman Takes Crappy Job to Pay Bills
In a move that horrified her spiritually-minded friends, 32-year-old Kim Lewiston, who resides in New York's East Village, decided to take a crappy job in order to pay her mounting bills. The decision did not come easily to Kim, who's always been...
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End of the Rainbow elves sue Obama
The elves who reside at the end of the rainbow have filed a lawsuit against the Obama administration. The elves are claiming that his secret service broke into there houses in the middle of the night and confiscated all the gold they have saved u...
Read full storyFunny Money Headlines
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San Francisco Prints Own Money, Rosie's Mug Replaces George W.
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A Broke, International Olympic Committee Forced To Ask Bill Gates For Money
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Red Cross: Tsunami Windfall !
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O.J. Simpson - Another father for Danielynn?
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Billionaires Start $60 Million Dollar Education Effort
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Boy Loses Bus Ticket, Has To Walk Home
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Religious Order of the Divine Will and Testament Collects Corpses' Social Security Checks until the Second Coming
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Report: ATM Not Sorry You Have Insufficient Funds
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Calls for mortgage 'exam' before borrowing
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"You're more likely to get run-over than get a mortgage" admit banks
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Lindsay Lohan Makes It Official: She's Tired Of Parents, Boys, Gossip And Groupies
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Prostitutes Rally for Price Supports
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Ron Paul's Excess Campaign Donations Pay National Debt Shortfall
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US trade gap a wide shock
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Bank Prepares To Leave - Only £5 Notes Left
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Ohio private school implements neighborhood re-brand - "The Ghetto"
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America Not Ready for Trump Dollars, Announces Trump
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Isle of Wight News - IoW to secede from the UK
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Life Continues to Get “Bettor and Bettor” for Gambling Addict
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Survey Says Dolphins Well Prepared for Retirement
