Harry Maguire To Save Bolton And Bury
The futures of the two football clubs under threat of expulsion from the Football League due to financial reasons, Bury F.C. and Bolton Wanderers, are secure tonight, after Manchester United's record £80million defender Harry Maguire stepped in to gu...
Read full story
Business Roundup with The Money
"Hi, this is Geoff Dosh." "And I'm Geoff Wonga." "Welcome to The Money. Let's have a look at all the money. In Britain, the money was down. In the EU, the money was unchanged. In the US and China the money was up. Tune in tomorrow to check on h...
Read full story
New Position Offers Unique Combination of Boredom and Stress
While many working Americans complain that their jobs are boring or stressful, a newly-posted position on job networking site Indud.web offers a unique combination of both boredom and stress. "It's a rare opportunity for people to really push them...
Read full story
Nashville Man Notices God Kind of a Deadbeat In His Life
Ben Tuttle was happy for his friend Lance Johnson, who quit a tiresome, ill-paying grind of a job without any sort of backup plan, and then, just before his landlord was about to begin eviction proceedings, was offered a position out of the blue at h...
Read full story
Harry Maguire Has Had 'Second Thoughts' About Manchester United
Having previously told news reporters he would never sign for Premier League football giants Manchester United because he hated them, Harry Maguire has now had 'second thoughts', and signed for the Reds on Monday, for a ridiculous £97million. Magu...
Read full story
Harry Maguire To Buy Some New Football Boots
Harry Maguire, the fresh-faced, good-looking golden boy of English football, who signed for Manchester United for £80million from Leicester City on Monday, says he might buy some new football boots, as a special treat to himself for becoming the most...
Read full story
Mind-Blowing New Study Reveals Link Between Poverty and Depression
Illuminati and the Bilderbergs Team up to Create Network Marketing Program
Crap Tips And Money Saving Ideas - with Mickey Thomas
Girls Aloud Reform And It's All Thanks To Bono
Honest Chicago Cabby Returns Woman's Goodies
Old Lady Arrested Outside Bank
No more taxes: here is how it will work
Betting Opens on Rowling Trial
No value to Ice Gems
Ron Paul's Excess Campaign Donations Pay National Debt Shortfall
Local Man, Billions in Debt, Succeeds in Convincing Bank Manager to Stop Raising Interest Rates by Threatening to Fire Him
Boy Loses Bus Ticket, Has To Walk Home
Man Deliberated For Too Long
A man who was in two minds as to whether or not he should buy a pair of Adidas trainers he had seen in the window of a charity shop, decided to "have a think" about it, and was, subsequently left disappointed when he returned to the shop later to fin...
Read full story
The Feudal Reserve to print in blood
Sleepy Hallow, Connecticut - Chairman of the Feudal Reserve, Graat “The Shark” White, held a small press conference here today to announce a plan to save on ink used for printing currency. “We only profit from the value of the money we print, b...
Read full story
Wimbledon: Roger Federer v. Novak Djokovic Match To Be Attended By Pair Of Parasites
Tomorrow's Wimbledon Men's Singles final between number seed, Roger Federer, and tournament favorite and number 1 seed, Novak Djokovic, is to have two special guests: the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Windsor, and her sister-in-law, the Duchess of Cambri...
Read full story
People Still Go To Church On Sunday While Cheating On Each Other And Looking For More Money, According To Report
After surveys and statistical data were analyzed at the University of Colorado last week, the results indicated that people actually do cheat on each other constantly, while looking for more money as they steadfastly maintain a need to go to Church e...
Read full story
Trump's Face To Appear On New $1 And $1,000 Bills
News is just emerging from Washington that new currency bills of $1 and $1,000 denominations will be issued in September this year, bearing the face of President Donald J. Trump. Whilst there will be no color change to the green $1 bill, the $1,00...
Read full story
Car Boot Sale Shut Down After Concerns Over The Quality Of Goods On Sale
A car boot sale that has been under the spotlight of consumer watchdogs for more than two years, has finally been shut down, after severe concerns about the quality of the items on sale. The sale, which has been held on Walton Street Car Park in H...
Read full story
Breaking news…
Interested in writing your own spoof news stories like these?
Yes, tell me more!Seven day catch up
Check out anything you've missed with the archive:
Fourth Of July Celebrations Labeled "Shit" By Man
As the crowds left a rain-soaked Lincoln Memorial in Washington DC last night, having witnessed a 'no expenses spared' military showcase extravaganza to rival anything seen before, one man was already berating the tremendous waste of money expended o...
Read full story
New York Woman Sees Every Reason to Trust Facebook's New Currency System
Angela Maddock of New York City was intrigued when she heard about the new global currency recently announced by Facebook, which the company has been developing in secret over the past year. "I've never once had the Facebook site go down, whereas...
Read full story
Harry Maguire Signs Affidavit Not To Let Jamie Vardy Score On September 14th
New Manchester United defender, Harry Maguire, who signed for the Reds from Leicester City for £80million on Monday, has signed a second legal document, an affidavit with the club's solicitors affirming that, when his new club meet his old club at Ol...
Read full story
Crypto and fiat currencies to be replaced with Funny Money
London, England - The Queen, according to her Minister of Finance, has grown tired of gold and silver. Too heavy. Fiat currencies. Too numerous. Crypto currencies. Too cumbersome. As revealed to the FT by Lord Stinkenbottom, Finance Minister, a N...
Read full story
Homeless People Very Excited About NASA's 2 Billion Dollar Moon Rock Scooper
Washington DC - Two-thousand homeless people - men, women and children - clamored in front of the White House today to express their excitement for the funding the US government has given to NASA to equip their upcoming satellites with a new moon roc...
Read full story
Illuminati Hoarding Gold Prior to 9/11; Ron Paul Commemoratives Still Available
14 Sep 07, EVANSVILLE, IN, USNA-- Someone has been buying almost all the gold in the world in the past ten days, reports monetary architect Bernard von NutHaus of Liberty Services, suggesting that the next world crisis is imminent. Oddly, in the mids...
Read full story
Millionaires given yet more trophies
This is a world where people get paid a lot of money to learn the words that other people write, wear the expensive clothes that other people design, and win awards that other people make, and a few thousand other people vote for. Yes, that's right, it is Awards season,again. With the Oscars, The National Television Awards, and Donald Trump's two new awards - The Fake News Awards and The Empty...
Read full story
"You're more likely to get run-over than get a mortgage" admit banks
A leading high street lender has admitted you are more likely to be run over than get a mortgage approved with their bank, and only slightly less likely to die in the bath. Banks appear to be 'advertising their wares' more than ever but an insider...
Read full storyFunny Money Headlines
-
Cindy Sheehan: Democratic Party Love Clone
-
Hamid Karzai Has Fingers in Everybody's Pocket
-
Top Ten Reasons For Tax Cuts for Rich
-
Common sense up to £1.95 a litre
-
Washington Outlaws Money; Puts Americans on a Credit Allowance
-
U.S. Congress Sets Fixed Price on Free Speech
-
A Billion Bucks Not Enough!
-
Rate of Wealth Transfer to Rich People Remains Steady after Yellen Testimony
-
Police on mail bandit Jane Doe: "She's quite a card!"
-
Harry Maguire To Feature On New £50 Note?
-
You Could be Watching Television Right Now
-
Happiness is a poor thing
-
Treasury Dept Declares "Starve the Beast" Policy a Success
-
Sultan Of Brunei 'Broke'
-
Mafia Money being seized by Illuminati
-
Situation Vacant - Premiership Footballer Required
-
Italy To Sell The Island of Sardinia To Peru
-
Life Continues to Get “Bettor and Bettor” for Gambling Addict
-
Greedy Owner Blames Closure of Department Stores on Greedy Owners
-
Affluent Homelessness on the Rise
