Multi-Billionaire gives away life savings after finding out he was in the 1%
New York- Multi-billionaire, Jack Moneybags, has given away 85% of his personal wealth this morning, after finding out that he was one of the few people in the top 1%. "This whole time, I thought having this much money was normal," says Mr. Mone...
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Football Setback As 2,500 Players Test Positive For Greed
There was a catastrophe on the eve of the return of the football programme last night, when it was announced that a staggering 2,563 professional football players had tested positive for greed. The infected players came from every club. None ha...
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Coronavirus Is God's Way Of Dealing With Capitalism
Financial analysts say that the Coronavirus is God's way of dealing with the capitalist system of economics, and that the entire mechanism is in danger of crumbling across the globe. The virus, Covid-19, which originated in China, has killed nearl...
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Manchester United's Harry Maguire Challenges Liverpool's Andy Robertson To A Snooker Match
They played in the same Premier League team in 2017, but central defender, Harry Maguire, and left-back, Andy Robertson, have gone up in the world since then, and the two friends are now star players for Manchester United and Liverpool, respectively.
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Banks Are Stealing All Your Money
News is emerging from a number of different sources that, under the very noses of millions of investors, banks are stealing the money they are supposed to be safeguarding. The awful and difficult-to-believe news was first aired on a bus going in t...
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Spoof Points Now Redeemable In Stores
There was a great amount of excitement from a small amount of people earlier this evening, when it was announced on satirical news website, TheSpoof.com, that the points writers are awarded for writing stories will soon be redeemable for cash values...
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Money making opportunity to get crazy rich
A Paid Advertisment by George W. Bush
"You're more likely to get run-over than get a mortgage" admit banks
Local Man Blamed For Grandmother's Death
Greek smart phones to solve insolvency
John Terry to move back into Barking council house
Cash for Peace
U.S. Congress Sets Fixed Price on Free Speech
Dollar Counterfeiter Jailed for Life
Trump's Face To Appear On New $1 And $1,000 Bills
Kathy Griffin Is Alleging That She Received Some Hush Money From President Trump
You Can Take It With You: God Speaks
Slacker Struggles to Pretend COVID-19 Has Negatively Affected Him
In the midst of the financial downturn as a result of the COVID-19 epidemic, Sam Josephson of Brooklyn, New York, who admitted to being somewhat of a "slacker," has struggled to maintain the façade that the coronavirus crisis has negatively affected...
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Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire Has Put In Increased Pay Claim
There may not be much football being played at the moment, due to the Coronavirus shutdown, but everyone has to eat, and food costs money, and this seems to be the primary reason why Manchester United and England central defender, Harry Maguire, has...
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Captain Tom Outlines Plans For Money
Captain Tom Moore, the man who has raised more than £32million by walking around his garden, was 100 years old on Thursday, and spent yesterday talking to journalists about the massive amount of cash donated by the public, and what he's going to do w...
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Forbes reveals the world's 10 richest people if the slave trade becomes legal again
Usually, Forbes publishes the Top 10 lists of people that have more than you will ever dream of having, but this time they decided to make a list of the people that own you. 1) Jeff Bezos Yes...when you created your Amazon account, you didn’t rea...
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Harry Maguire To Buy Some New Football Boots
Harry Maguire, the fresh-faced, good-looking golden boy of English football, who signed for Manchester United for £80million from Leicester City on Monday, says he might buy some new football boots, as a special treat to himself for becoming the most...
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Nashville Man Questions whether He’s Truly Evolving
Always intent on being on the cutting edge of his species, 42-year-old Trent Buchanan of Nashville, Tennessee, had been certain that he was personally helping advance humanity – only for a call from his mother inquiring about his job status to cause...
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Sajid Javid May Have Stolen One Million 50p Brexit Coins
Master of the Mint, Sajid Javid, is being held by officers from Scotland Yard this morning, after it was discovered a huge haul of special Brexit celebration 50p coins could not be accounted for. The commemorative coins should have gone into gener...
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Fourth Of July Celebrations Labeled "Shit" By Man
As the crowds left a rain-soaked Lincoln Memorial in Washington DC last night, having witnessed a 'no expenses spared' military showcase extravaganza to rival anything seen before, one man was already berating the tremendous waste of money expended o...
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Ray Winstone Lands EastEnders Part
Ray Winstone, the star of the cult 1979 movie, 'Scum', and 2000's 'Sexy Beast', is to make a guest star appearance in the upcoming Christmas edition of BBC soap, EastEnders, it has been revealed. He will then become a full member of the cast. Wins...
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Crypto and fiat currencies to be replaced with Funny Money
London, England - The Queen, according to her Minister of Finance, has grown tired of gold and silver. Too heavy. Fiat currencies. Too numerous. Crypto currencies. Too cumbersome. As revealed to the FT by Lord Stinkenbottom, Finance Minister, a N...
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Modern-Day Scrooge: "Enjoy Your Last Christmas, Suckers!"
BOSTON, MA, CHRISTMAS DAY -- Archibald C. Reilly III, born to a wealthy North Carolina family of tobacco barons in 1932, has spent his eighty-six years on this Earth with the single-minded purpose of accruing a vast amount of wealth. Through a long s...
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Harry Maguire Has Had 'Second Thoughts' About Manchester United
Having previously told news reporters he would never sign for Premier League football giants Manchester United because he hated them, Harry Maguire has now had 'second thoughts', and signed for the Reds on Monday, for a ridiculous £97million. Magu...
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IMF Explains How World Debt Crisis Is To Be Solved By "Imaginary Economics"
The institutions and regulators of the global financial system today made an unprecedented joint announcement that will change the underlying basis of the global economy. These institutions and regulators, which include the International Monetary...
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Survey Says Dolphins Well Prepared for Retirement
A new study by the American Banking Association finds that dolphins are better prepared for retirement than most Americans. “Dolphins are incredibly savvy when it comes to saving for retirement,” said Harry Schmedlap, director of sea mammal invest...
Read full storyFunny Money Headlines
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Vatican Seeks More Money; Cracks Down of Free Services
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Poker thieves nab 273 quadrillion chips
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God Charges Bank Administrator Twenty-Five Dollar Late Fee For Not Dying On Time
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Monopoly Money to become legal tender in Yorkshire
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Government Cracks Down on "Little Joey's Lemonade Stand" Price Gouging
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Dollar Devalued
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Government introduces cash for shoppers program
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The One World Religion Begins
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Why the UK has opted for plastic cash
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Donald Trump Says He Has Just Ordered The Treasury Department To Print Up A New U.S. Dollar Bill With His Likeness
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Bill Clinton Confesses
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Money Found Growing On Tree In Scotland
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Report: ATM Not Sorry You Have Insufficient Funds
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Americans Anxiously Await Matt Damon's Views on Wall Street Abuses and Economy
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Pope Francis not Frightened of Mafia "Cissy Boys"
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One Direction impotent due to skinny jeans
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The News At Me
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The Feudal Reserve to print in blood
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Trump Seen Pulling 20s Out of One Pocket and 100s Out of the Other to Give to World Leaders
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Nashville Man Unsuccessfully Tries to Turn on a Dime
