Funny story: Harry Maguire To Save Bolton And Bury

Harry Maguire To Save Bolton And Bury

The futures of the two football clubs under threat of expulsion from the Football League due to financial reasons, Bury F.C. and Bolton Wanderers, are secure tonight, after Manchester United's record £80million defender Harry Maguire stepped in to gu...

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Funny story: Business Roundup with The Money

Business Roundup with The Money

"Hi, this is Geoff Dosh." "And I'm Geoff Wonga." "Welcome to The Money. Let's have a look at all the money. In Britain, the money was down. In the EU, the money was unchanged. In the US and China the money was up. Tune in tomorrow to check on h...

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Funny story: New Position Offers Unique Combination of Boredom and Stress

New Position Offers Unique Combination of Boredom and Stress

While many working Americans complain that their jobs are boring or stressful, a newly-posted position on job networking site Indud.web offers a unique combination of both boredom and stress. "It's a rare opportunity for people to really push them...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Notices God Kind of a Deadbeat In His Life

Nashville Man Notices God Kind of a Deadbeat In His Life

Ben Tuttle was happy for his friend Lance Johnson, who quit a tiresome, ill-paying grind of a job without any sort of backup plan, and then, just before his landlord was about to begin eviction proceedings, was offered a position out of the blue at h...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Has Had 'Second Thoughts' About Manchester United

Harry Maguire Has Had 'Second Thoughts' About Manchester United

Having previously told news reporters he would never sign for Premier League football giants Manchester United because he hated them, Harry Maguire has now had 'second thoughts', and signed for the Reds on Monday, for a ridiculous £97million. Magu...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire To Buy Some New Football Boots

Harry Maguire To Buy Some New Football Boots

Harry Maguire, the fresh-faced, good-looking golden boy of English football, who signed for Manchester United for £80million from Leicester City on Monday, says he might buy some new football boots, as a special treat to himself for becoming the most...

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Funny story: Man Deliberated For Too Long

Man Deliberated For Too Long

A man who was in two minds as to whether or not he should buy a pair of Adidas trainers he had seen in the window of a charity shop, decided to "have a think" about it, and was, subsequently left disappointed when he returned to the shop later to fin...

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Funny story: The Feudal Reserve to print in blood

The Feudal Reserve to print in blood

Sleepy Hallow, Connecticut - Chairman of the Feudal Reserve, Graat “The Shark” White, held a small press conference here today to announce a plan to save on ink used for printing currency. “We only profit from the value of the money we print, b...

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Funny story: Wimbledon: Roger Federer v. Novak Djokovic Match To Be Attended By Pair Of Parasites

Wimbledon: Roger Federer v. Novak Djokovic Match To Be Attended By Pair Of Parasites

Tomorrow's Wimbledon Men's Singles final between number seed, Roger Federer, and tournament favorite and number 1 seed, Novak Djokovic, is to have two special guests: the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Windsor, and her sister-in-law, the Duchess of Cambri...

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Funny story: People Still Go To Church On Sunday While Cheating On Each Other And Looking For More Money, According To Report

People Still Go To Church On Sunday While Cheating On Each Other And Looking For More Money, According To Report

After surveys and statistical data were analyzed at the University of Colorado last week, the results indicated that people actually do cheat on each other constantly, while looking for more money as they steadfastly maintain a need to go to Church e...

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Funny story: Trump's Face To Appear On New $1 And $1,000 Bills

Trump's Face To Appear On New $1 And $1,000 Bills

News is just emerging from Washington that new currency bills of $1 and $1,000 denominations will be issued in September this year, bearing the face of President Donald J. Trump. Whilst there will be no color change to the green $1 bill, the $1,00...

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Funny story: Car Boot Sale Shut Down After Concerns Over The Quality Of Goods On Sale

Car Boot Sale Shut Down After Concerns Over The Quality Of Goods On Sale

A car boot sale that has been under the spotlight of consumer watchdogs for more than two years, has finally been shut down, after severe concerns about the quality of the items on sale. The sale, which has been held on Walton Street Car Park in H...

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Funny story: Fourth Of July Celebrations Labeled "Shit" By Man

Fourth Of July Celebrations Labeled "Shit" By Man

As the crowds left a rain-soaked Lincoln Memorial in Washington DC last night, having witnessed a 'no expenses spared' military showcase extravaganza to rival anything seen before, one man was already berating the tremendous waste of money expended o...

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Funny story: New York Woman Sees Every Reason to Trust Facebook's New Currency System

New York Woman Sees Every Reason to Trust Facebook's New Currency System

Angela Maddock of New York City was intrigued when she heard about the new global currency recently announced by Facebook, which the company has been developing in secret over the past year. "I've never once had the Facebook site go down, whereas...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Signs Affidavit Not To Let Jamie Vardy Score On September 14th

Harry Maguire Signs Affidavit Not To Let Jamie Vardy Score On September 14th

New Manchester United defender, Harry Maguire, who signed for the Reds from Leicester City for £80million on Monday, has signed a second legal document, an affidavit with the club's solicitors affirming that, when his new club meet his old club at Ol...

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Funny story: Crypto and fiat currencies to be replaced with Funny Money

Crypto and fiat currencies to be replaced with Funny Money

London, England - The Queen, according to her Minister of Finance, has grown tired of gold and silver. Too heavy. Fiat currencies. Too numerous. Crypto currencies. Too cumbersome. As revealed to the FT by Lord Stinkenbottom, Finance Minister, a N...

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Funny story: Homeless People Very Excited About NASA's 2 Billion Dollar Moon Rock Scooper

Homeless People Very Excited About NASA's 2 Billion Dollar Moon Rock Scooper

Washington DC - Two-thousand homeless people - men, women and children - clamored in front of the White House today to express their excitement for the funding the US government has given to NASA to equip their upcoming satellites with a new moon roc...

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Funny story: Illuminati Hoarding Gold Prior to 9/11; Ron Paul Commemoratives Still Available

Illuminati Hoarding Gold Prior to 9/11; Ron Paul Commemoratives Still Available

14 Sep 07, EVANSVILLE, IN, USNA-- Someone has been buying almost all the gold in the world in the past ten days, reports monetary architect Bernard von NutHaus of Liberty Services, suggesting that the next world crisis is imminent. Oddly, in the mids...

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Funny story: Millionaires given yet more trophies

Millionaires given yet more trophies

This is a world where people get paid a lot of money to learn the words that other people write, wear the expensive clothes that other people design, and win awards that other people make, and a few thousand other people vote for. Yes, that's right, it is Awards season,again. With the Oscars, The National Television Awards, and Donald Trump's two new awards - The Fake News Awards and The Empty...

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Funny story: "You're more likely to get run-over than get a mortgage" admit banks

"You're more likely to get run-over than get a mortgage" admit banks

A leading high street lender has admitted you are more likely to be run over than get a mortgage approved with their bank, and only slightly less likely to die in the bath. Banks appear to be 'advertising their wares' more than ever but an insider...

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