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Harry Maguire To Feature On New £50 Note?

Funny story: Harry Maguire To Feature On New £50 Note?

The news that the government has reversed its decision to scrap the £50 note, has met with cheer, and a call from football fans to include upon the note the face of England player, Harry Maguire, the team's hero at the Russia World Cup. The note...

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Greedy Owner Blames Closure of Department Stores on Greedy Owners

Funny story: Greedy Owner Blames Closure of Department Stores on Greedy Owners

Billionaire businessman Mike Ashley has blasted "greedy landlords" for the closure of several House of Fraser department stores. The Sports Direct and Newcastle United FC owner stepped in to buy the historical chain for £90 million when it looked...

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Currency Markets In Turmoil

Funny story: Currency Markets In Turmoil

There was an uncomfortable day for many in the Foreign Currency Market yesterday, with many of the world's major players involved in an erratic rollercoaster ride. The US dollar performed well against Sterling, opening at £0.75 and closing at £0.7...

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Police on mail bandit Jane Doe: "She's quite a card!"

Funny story: Police on mail bandit Jane Doe: "She's quite a card!"

Milwaukee, Wisconsin—A 20-year-old US Postal Service worker, whom police are calling “Jane Doe,” admitted to having stolen over 6,000 greeting cards full of cash or checks. “But it wasn't for the money,” Doe insisted during her arraignment. She...

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Spoof Writers Reach Agreement Over Pay Offer

Funny story: Spoof Writers Reach Agreement Over Pay Offer

Spoof writers were said to be 'satisfied' last night after months of patient negotiations with Spoofboss Mark Lowton finally paid off. The writers emerged from the Lowton residence just before midnight on Monday evening, and set fire to a wheelie...

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Where are they now? Winston Bogarde, "Footballer"

Funny story: Where are they now? Winston Bogarde, "Footballer"

Don't you just love this man? Well, maybe you haven't heard of him, unlike the Chelsea football fans to whom he is notorious, although they barely saw him. He had the most infamous contract in football. Our Dutch hero played for Ajax until 1998 when he signed for Barcelona, so he wasn't half bad, and played for Barça 19 times while they won La Liga and the Copa del Rey. On the advice of comp...

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Man Finds $10 In His Pocket

Funny story: Man Finds $10 In His Pocket

When one man's wife asked him if he wanted her to wash his trousers at the weekend, he initially told her "no", but, at her insistence, gave in, and made a remarkable discovery! Moys Kenwood, 54, was in his bedroom on Sunday, when his wife appeare...

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Supermarket Mergers, Pacts And Other Such Shit

Funny story: Supermarket Mergers, Pacts And Other Such Shit

There was a swift reaction to the news earlier this week that supermarket giants Asda and Sainsbury were to merge, when several other major players also announced their own intentions to join forces. First to react was Tesco, who revealed that the...

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Pentagon Admits Spending 79 Trillion Dollars On Hookers And Blow

Funny story: Pentagon Admits Spending 79 Trillion Dollars On Hookers And Blow

In honor of Earth Day, Pentagon officials decided to tell the American people the truth for once. In a special report that was temporarily declassified for only 24 hours, the Supreme Commander of the Armed Forces admitted that most of money supp...

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Daily Mail Fury as new sterling contract goes to Poland when Queen abdicates

Funny story: Daily Mail Fury as new sterling contract goes to Poland when Queen abdicates

A secret cabinet office memorandum has been obtained by political editor Paxton Quigley, which admits that under European Union procurement rules the contract for printing new sterling banknotes will be awarded to the Polish national bank. Paxton...

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Survey Says Dolphins Well Prepared for Retirement

Funny story: Survey Says Dolphins Well Prepared for Retirement

A new study by the American Banking Association finds that dolphins are better prepared for retirement than most Americans. “Dolphins are incredibly savvy when it comes to saving for retirement,” said Harry Schmedlap, director of sea mammal invest...

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Life Continues to Get “Bettor and Bettor” for Gambling Addict

Funny story: Life Continues to Get “Bettor and Bettor” for Gambling Addict

Calvin Jones, a self-identified gambling addict, says that his life continues to get “bettor and bettor” as he continues to discover new and exciting things on which to wager. As a former semipro baseball player, Cal explained that he initially gr...

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Life Coach Unveils Brilliant Plan for Client to Get a Full-Time Job

Funny story: Life Coach Unveils Brilliant Plan for Client to Get a Full-Time Job

After nine months of deep work identifying core values, assessing top life priorities, and taking a hard look at day-to-day financial realities, Jason Henderson's life coach finally unveiled the professional plan crafted specially for him: find a ful...

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Millionaires given yet more trophies

This is a world where people get paid a lot of money to learn the words that other people write, wear the expensive clothes that other people design, and win awards that other people make, and a few thousand other people vote for. Yes, that's right, it is Awards season,again. With the Oscars, The National Television Awards, and Donald Trump's two new awards - The Fake News Awards and The Empty...

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Crypto and fiat currencies to be replaced with Funny Money

Funny story: Crypto and fiat currencies to be replaced with Funny Money

London, England - The Queen, according to her Minister of Finance, has grown tired of gold and silver. Too heavy. Fiat currencies. Too numerous. Crypto currencies. Too cumbersome. As revealed to the FT by Lord Stinkenbottom, Finance Minister, a N...

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The News At Me

The world is awash with important breaking news stories that scream so loud they surely cannot be ignored. There's a endless parade of sexual assault claims in Hollywood. Ex-Generals claiming the US could lose a war against the tinpot dictatorship of...

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The Increased Use Of The 'More Money Than God' Adage Prompts Jesus To Reveal His Net Worth

Funny story: The Increased Use Of The 'More Money Than God' Adage Prompts Jesus To Reveal His Net Worth

You've heard the slogan a million times - 'He's got more money than God'. And every time you listened to the saying, there was never any documented funds to refer upon to support the outlandish claim.  Well, now there is, thanks to Jesus officiall...

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Isle of Wight News - IoW to secede from the UK

Funny story: Isle of Wight News - IoW to secede from the UK

Councillor for Cowes, Mr David Pugh, has vowed that the Isle of Wight is to secede from the UK due to a row over the new Pound coin, however, he is keen to stress that this has nothing to do with Brexit. Island residents prefer the coins from 193...

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Breaking news…

Sales blames ring for illness

Boston Red Sox baseball player "Lefty" Sales said his cock ring made him sick. "It turned my penis green," he said. "My girlfriend paid for gold, but obviously, the jeweler sold her brass."
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