Nashville Man Notices God Kind of a Deadbeat In His Life

Written by Chrissy Benson

Thursday, 29 August 2019

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Meaning no disrespect, Ben Tuttle wouldn't mind if God started pulling his weight in their relationship.

Ben Tuttle was happy for his friend Lance Johnson, who quit a tiresome, ill-paying grind of a job without any sort of backup plan, and then, just before his landlord was about to begin eviction proceedings, was offered a position out of the blue at his ex-wife's brother-in-law's online startup company at triple the pay with a $1,500 starting bonus. However, when Johnson raved to Tuttle about how God was working in his life, it couldn't help but occur to Josh that God had been pretty much a total deadbeat in his own life.

"Not to diminish anyone else's experience," said Tuttle, "but not once has God ever paid my rent or even chipped in for expenses. I'm the primary, - heck, only - breadwinner in the household," He chuckled. "The Heavenly Father is essentially a stay-at-home dad."

He added, "I've even loaned Lance money before. You don't see him praying to me, though."

It additionally occurred to Tuttle that, in fact, not only had God never given him a dime, but every time he attended church on Sunday, he was asked to help give money to God.

"I've got nothing against people trying to find God," he said, "but in my experience, I've mainly just been asked me to fund God. Again, not to be disrespectful, but I'm kind of getting the short end of the stick here."

Tuttle emphasized that, of course, money isn't everything.

"But even so, I wouldn't mind getting a day off now and again," he aaid. "God's never worked a day in my life. It would be nice if he started pulling his weight."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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