Panda love: A shocking expose!!

Funny story written by aningeniousname

Wednesday, 7 March 2007


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Shanghai- Ever since the People's Republic of China decided it wasn't actually Communist, but instead a voracious capitalistic beast, money has flowed effortlessly from the state coffers and into the pockets of a new class of Chinese super rich.

The sudden appearance of huge riches has led this new class of playboys and parasites to amass all the usual toys one would expect to see in any western metropolis.
But one of the most disturbing new developments in the exclusive penthouses of high rise Shanghai is the shocking trade in rare Panda minge.

Triad gangs are known to be hawking female Panda flesh to some of Shanghai's most respected citizens; with some in the city saying that the vile trade goes way beyond Shanghai and reaches into the very heart of central Government.

The trade was first hinted at late last year when cheap pornographic magazines, featuring female Panda's engaged in various sexual acts, started to appear in the city's under ground sex markets.

This shocking revelation was followed quickly by the discovery of a Panda brothel in the heart of the old town. Where rich clients were paying $10,000 dollars for an hour of sordid kinkiness with a six year old panda cub dressed only in black lingerie and a tacky blonde wig.

One young bear rescued from a life of sexual slavery had fur so badly matted with semen that she had to be shaved completely bald. The naive young bear was reported to be so traumatised from her forced bukkake experiences that its very doubtful she will ever love again and is said to be extremely fearful of all men.

The Chinese Ministry of sexual depravity and the prohibition of western decadence among the gloriously steadfast Chinese people has launched a high profile investigation into the filthy trade and has already executed four men involved in supplying bamboo bear minge to the Shanghai market.

But many people are saying the new laws against pandering
will do little to quell the billion dollar trade in black and white bear vagina, and it is the Government who must now take the blame for the new spirit of decadence which is sweeping the once proud nation.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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