Colin Kaepernick Tells ESPN-5 That He's Back - And Trump Is Still Gone!
DETROIT - (Sports Satire) - Colin Kaepernick flew into MoTown to meet with Detroit Lions owner Shelia Firestone Ford Hamp, who signed the former San Francisco 49ers great quarterback to a very lucrative contract. Ms. Ford Hamp, asked Colin how his…
Read full storyMelania Trump Has Just Named Her New Lesbian Pussy Cat, Dildo
MAR-A-LAGO - (Satire News) - Melania Trump recently told her BFF, Meghan Markle that she has never been lonelier than she is now. She added that if it was not for her texting and sexting with NBA great LeBron James, she really feels that she would…
Read full storySarah Ferguson Reveals A Very Interesting Fact About Her G-Spot
BEVERLY HILLS, California - (Satire News) - Sarah Ferguson recently dumped long-time boyfriend Brit mouthpiece Piers Morgan. According to London's Ta Ta For Now News the reason was because, as Fergie put it, his idea of foreplay was simply using w…
Read full storyPresident Biden Says Nancy Pelosi Has Bigger Balls Than Putin and Trump Put Together
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - President Biden has always liked Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi for many reasons. Two of the reasons he noted were because she can speak 9 languages (8 fluently) and she knows the names of every horse that has…
Read full storyCliff Richard to launch heavy metal dance crossover music at the Queen's Jubilee
News has reached us that Sir Cliff Richard is to launch a new heavy metal dance crossover sound when he performs at the Queen's Jubliee in July. Songs such as Devil Woman, Bachelor Boy, We Don't Talk Anymore, Living Doll and The Young Ones will ha…
Read full storyMassey I'd like to Fergusson
Following the news about a British MP leaving Parliament due to confusing pornography with tractors, interest in the farm-based vehicle has tripled. Now known as doing a Parrish tens of people have been googling 'Tractor Porn' in an attempt to enl…
Read full storyPresident Putin Is Battling A Severe Case of Dandruff And He Says He Will Turn Over His Job To One of His Favorite Girlfriends
CHICAGO - (Satire News) - Senior writer Pico de Gallo with Tittle Tattle Tonight has just broken the storied story that the leader of Russia, Vladimir Nikita Putin, is batting a very severe case of dandruff. Putin's personal physician who refused…
Read full storyBritney Spears' New Designer Perfume, Eau Du Pussy, Is A Tremendous Success
HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - The singer who had a world-wide hit with the hit song "Oops, I Did It Again," has just hit paydirt once again. Britney "Sweetie Pie" Spears has just announced that her contract with the Maybellina Cosmetic Co. has just…
Read full storyBachelor with special interest in Tractors is now worrying
Chutney on the Fritz's man about town Brian Asshat has a special lifelong interest in tractors, as his search history proves, but he is now worried, that following Porn gate in Westminster, he may be viewed differently. 'Yes it was rather shocking…
Read full storyCalifornia's Libido Forest Fire Is Growing, Growing, Growing!
G SPOT, California - (Satire News) - The weather has gotten hot, real damn, fucking hot, and the Left Coast state is starting to sizzle exactly like it did last year. G Spot's Channel 77, EyeViewer News reports that the 17,903 acre Libido Forest f…
Read full storyThe 7-Foot-9-Inch NBA Player For The Oklahoma City Thunder Is Now The Highest Paid African In Basketball
OKLAHOMA CITY - (Sports Satire) - Sportsapalooza Sports is reporting that Zimbabwean native, LeBrondo Yuvama, has just received a contract extension. The Oklahoma City Thunder center, has just renegotiated his contract, which now calls for him to…
Read full storyA New Boris, An Old Boris, A Blue Boris
Dateline in Time: 1985 - Boris Becker became a golden boy in tennis at 17-years-old, kissing the Wimbledon trophy, becoming a superstar overnight, and amassing immense riches over the years. Now he’s in trouble for not giving money to the right pe…
Read full storyNext on the Cancel Culture Chopping Block: Harry
Prince Harry has been diligent in trying to remove photos of him at a Halloween party wear he wore a Nazi brownshirt with a swastika armband. It’s not clear whether or not his granny had a talk with him, though one Royal-watcher, who prefers to r…
Read full storyPrince William Goes To School to Learn Wot’s Wot
Prince William has undergone a short re-education class in World History. To his delight, he has discovered that World Wars One and Two happened in Europe, not in either Africa or Asia, and that some of his family members were directly involved i…
Read full storyItaly Wants Pay-Back for Once Being A Fascist Dictatorship
Italy is taking Germany to court for compensation for Nazi war crimes. Germany has replied: “But we were on the same side ... at the beginning. You knew what you were doing, don’t pretend Hitler and Mussolini were not in a bromance, dude.” Some…
Read full storyNeil Got Peeled While Keepin’ It Real
MP Neil Parish has decided to step down after twice watching porn in Parliament while waiting to vote. Though it isn’t know which porn sites he was watching, a mole in government told this reporter, “We’ve heard he likes Puerto Rican girls with bi…
Read full storyDon’t Mess With the Monkey Man
Jair Bolsonaro, president of Brazil, has a wee tiff with actor Leonardo DiCaprio over environmental issues and the upcoming election in Brazil. Seems Jair doesn’t like the Hollywood heavyweight telling Brazilians not to vote for a president who e…
Read full storyThe Reason Celine Dion Had To Cancel Her Concert Tours of Japan, Portugal, Bolivia, and Pisagovia
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - One of the greatest singers of all time, has just sadly informed the news media that she is having to cancel her upcoming "Singing Up A Storm To The Fantabulous Songs of Celine Dion World Concert Tour." The 54-year-…
Read full storyShort of Food? Farage for it!
Fears of empty supermarket shelves are driving people to find alternative food sources. One suggestion is to go out and find it in the wild. Some call it foraging. But an expert in these matters, wearing a trilby hat and brandishing a pint of Bri…
Read full storyThere Is A Big Proliferation of Illegal Canadian Immigrants Gathering On My Yard!!!
THAT DOES IT!!! I'VE HAD IT!!! It is bad enough that we have thousands of immigrants at our southern border trying to get into the U.S. so that they can become ILLEGAL immigrants (as though we don't have too many already!!!) but now we have thousa…
Read full storyMonica Lewinsky Says Trump Is A Fucking Liar For Saying He's Seen Her In The Nude Six Times
BALTIMORE - (Satire News) - President Bill Clinton's former aide, Monica Lewinsky, is reportedly very angry at the fact that the Trumptard, recently told his alleged boyfriend, Sean Hannity, that he had intimate relations with Monica "Lips of Love" L…
Read full storyJeff Bezos Says He's Going To Buy Fox News and Fire Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson, Greg Gutfeld and The Rest of The GOP Ass-Kissing Racist Clowns
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - BuzzFuzz has just broken the story that gazillionaire Jeff Bezos will be purchasing the GOP-leaning Fox News. A rep for Bezos stated that after purchasing Fox News, Bezos will immediately fire 99.94% of the Trump-lo…
Read full storyAfghanistan Is Sending Their Crack Big Red 13th Taliban Regiment To Ukraine To Fight Putin's Evil Invaders
KABUL, Afghanistan - (Satire News) - President Abu Taboo Fashu of Afghanistan, has just announced that he will be sending aid to Ukraine, in the form of the Taliban's Big Red 13th Taliban Regiment. President Fashu, called President Biden and he to…
Read full storyPutin Names A Female Admiral To Head The Russian Naval Forces
MOSCOW - (Satire News) - Russian president Vladimir Nikita Putin has decided to name a female to head the second most powerful navy in the world. Putty, as VP Harris, Howard Stern, and rapper Yo Yo Afro Woke call the Communist cunt, decided to app…
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