MAR-A-LAGO - (Satire News) - Melania Trump recently told her BFF, Meghan Markle that she has never been lonelier than she is now.
She added that if it was not for her texting and sexting with NBA great LeBron James, she really feels that she would have turned into a weird, listless, boring bitch, like Fox News host Laura Ingraham.
Melly stated that Ingraham is so fucking boring that she makes a used tampon look pretty.
The wife of Donaldo, revealed that she has purchased a rescue pussy cat, which she has named "Dildo," to keep her occupied at night. She then giggled and added that she has just found out that "Dildo" is a lesbian pussy cat.
The "Melster," as LeBron James calls her, confessed that lately her racist, draft-dodging, pussy-grabbing predatorial orange-complected he-bitch husband has been calling out lots of female names in his sleep.
Mrs. Trump added that number one on the list is Stormy Daniels, followed by Hope Hicks, Maria Bartiromo, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Karen McDougall, Marsha Blackburn, Sean Hannity (?), Omarosa Manigault, Miley Cyrus, and yes even that Fox News has-been, egotistical bigot, Megyn "The Bloodhound" Kelly. â–
