NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - One of the greatest singers of all time, has just sadly informed the news media that she is having to cancel her upcoming "Singing Up A Storm To The Fantabulous Songs of Celine Dion World Concert Tour."
The 54-year-old Canadian songstress told Music Moments Magazine reporter Calcutta Cotton, that the decision was made for three damn good reasons.
Firstly, the singer has developed lesions on her tongue that prevent her from hitting high b sharps, high c sharps, and low h sharps.
Secondly, Ms. Dion, has suddenly developed a fear of flying, and traveling by ship would have extended her 33-day travel time to 291 days.
And thirdly, it is no secret that Celine has become anorexic, bulimic,and transpissamic.
SIDENOTE: Info guru Andy Cohen, recently told his very good friend, Anderson Cooper, that the skinny-as-heck, Ms. Dion is now down to 61 pounds.
