CHICAGO - (Satire News) - Senior writer Pico de Gallo with Tittle Tattle Tonight has just broken the storied story that the leader of Russia, Vladimir Nikita Putin, is batting a very severe case of dandruff.
Putin's personal physician who refused to give his name, stated that due to an advanced case of Dandruffalitis, Putin's reasoning function has, for want of better words, left the building.
De Gallo pointed out that Putin is one stubborn ass son-of-a-bastardized bitch (much like the Trumptard) and he keeps saying that his dandruff is merely a hoax, a witch hunt, and a fig Newton of everyone's imagination.
But 99.9% of all Russian oligarch's state that Putty is just being a deranged, egotistical, evil piece of Canadian moose shit.
SIDENOTE: Putin did inform The Kremlin Voice, that for the three weeks that he will be out-of-service, he will turn over the reins of Russia to one of his hot, sexy, stunningly lascivious girlfriends Estonia Constantina, 29.