If Monkeys Take Over US Elections Will Monkeys Be Elected?
The big question: If monkeys take over US elections, will a monkey be elected? Short answer? Yes. Holy hell! The monkeys are coming. Can Canada help the US, or can Mexico? Where’s the Supreme Court? The FBI? Hey, CIA, are you there? Can you d…
Read full storyThe Mafia Wants The Word “Mafioso” Sticken From The Dictionary
BROOKLYN – (Satire News) – Tittle Tattle Tonight reporter Pico de Gallo recently sat down with Goombalini crime family boss Salvatore Goombalini at a Pompous Pizza Parlor in Brooklyn. The two, who go way back to the days of the infamous Big Apple…
Read full storyFusion Reactor Melts Down at Commonwealth Facility in United States, Causing a Major Setback
Scientists at the Commonwealth Fusion Facility in United States were experimenting with a compact type of fusion reactor. All was good until 10 years later, when lint caused a cooling pump to fail. According to survivors, lint is a major cause of…
Read full storyAdvice From Will Rogers
Rummaging through the Will Rogers memorabilia at the UCLA special collections library, I came across these timely pieces of advice from America's foremost soapbox philosopher. They are as appropriate today as when he penned them a century ago.
Read full storyFauci says "at least 55% of people are ok" after getting the COVID vaccine
Dr. Anthony Fauci was indignant today at a noon press conference called to address multiple published reports mentioning complications, nasty side effects and even deaths caused by the COVID vaccine. After being asked by reporters if the reports w…
Read full storyA Kentucky Woman Gets The Gettysburg Address Tattooed on Her Breasts
WOODCHUCK HORMONES, Kentucky – (Satire News) – A woman who relatives, friends, and the homeless say has one hell of a sense of humor has just made national news. Lolita Sweetwater, 28, who says she’s a pole dancer/dentist, recently had her 38-DDD…
Read full storyBiden Cites “Row vs Wade” - Orders Blockade Of All Afghanistan Seaports
BILLINGSGATE POST: To placate conservative members of Congress regarding his order to have all of our troops out of Afghanistan by July 1st, President Biden announced today, “That under the authority granted to him under the ‘Row vs Wade Amendment’…
Read full storyBiden invites spoofers Jaggedone and Dr Billingsgate to White House for pow wow
President Biden surprised more than a few people today when he issued invitations to two top spoofers known as Jaggedone and Dr Billingsgate to meet with him at the White House. Asked his reasoning, Biden said “It’s time we get up close and perso…
Read full storyThe Arizona Vote Recount is Finally Finished – And Trump Is Reportedly Madder Than An Egg-Laying Hen With No Ovaries
PHOENIX – (Satire News) – Boom Boom News is reporting that after nearly 6 weeks of vote recounting in Arizona’s Maricopa County, the results show that out of the 2,193,702 votes cast in the county, there was not one single discrepancy found; NOT ONE!…
Read full storySnowden, Assange agree to meet in boxing match
International bad boys Edward Snowden ex-CIA analyst and Julian Assange founder of Wikileaks have agreed to meet in the boxing ring in what is bound to be a very evenly matched contest, featuring two very wily and clever phenoms of the modern world.
Read full storyMcDonalds Says That Their McSauerkraut Burger Will Never, Ever, Ever Return Again
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – In what fast food pundits are calling the dumbest idea in the world of fast food, the McDonalds McSauerkraut Burger has ridden off to that Burger Paradise in the Sky. A reporter with Hollywood Hors Doeuvres asked a Mickey…
Read full storyWest Virginia Outlaws Ass Cheek-Showing Short Shorts
CHARLESTON, West Virginia – (Satire News) – The West Virginia Puritan Association is bragging about the fact that they have finally been successful in getting the West Virginia legislature to ban ass cheek-showing short shorts. WVPA Assistant Vice…
Read full storyThe Boston Red Sox Organization Has Just Issued An Extremely Well-Received Statement
BOSTON – (Sports Satire) – Boston Red Sox management, has stated that effective immediately, firearms will be strictly prohibited from the team’s locker room, the dugout, and the bullpen. Red Sox chief of security Miles P. McMiles stated that he f…
Read full storyThe KKK and The Oath Keepers Agree To Merge and Form The KKKOK
COTTON BRITCHES, Alabama – (Satire News) – One of the highest ranking grand wizards of The Non-Benevolent Order of the Bougainvillea Chapter of the Ku Klux Klan, Boudreaux "Cornbread" Dippadiddle, has just confirmed that the KKK and the Oath Keepers…
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