Trump Finally, Finally, Finally, Admits That He Lost The Election
BALTIMORE – (Satire News) – Donald J. Trump flew into Baltimore to get a root canal done. And as he was leaving the dentist’s office, he was asked by a reporter with Hollywood Innuendo, if he is ever going to admit that he lost the presidential el…Read full story
A Bad Check Got George Floyd Murdered, But Overturning An Election Is Okay?
And you know he’s dumb as a rock. Come on. He doesn’t even know the lyrics of the Star Spangled Banner. Stumbled in front of the Queen, jaw hanging open, admiring the bright color uniforms of the Honor Guard. Clueless of proper etiquette. But tha…Read full story
Jack-in-the-Box Announces That They Are Going To Start Selling Beer
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – In a move that will certainly increase their sales by astronomical numbers, Jack-in-the-Box has decided to add beer to their extensive menu. The idea of selling brewski’s was first proposed by Wally St. Sinclair, 48…Read full story
Is it true that everybody hurts?
The 90s indie band REM famously sang the miserable dirge, Everybody Hurts, but is it really true? Certainly not for lepers. Leprosy is a disease which leads to nerve damage. There is a common misconception that it leads directly to the loss of lim…Read full story
The Miami Marlins Will Start Wearing Short Pants Because of The Extreme Florida Heat
MIAMI – (Sports Satire) – The manager of the Miami Marlins, Don Mattingly, told reporters that his players are having a hell of time playing in the dreaded Hurricane State heat. He noted that one of his starting infielders got sick after drinking…Read full story
Wyoming’s Wildfires Are Stressing The Hell Out Of The Buffalo Herds
TARANTULA TITS, Wyoming – (Satire News) – The Wyoming Department of Forestry & Animal Issues, is extremely concerned over the states 4 wildfires that are raging out-of-control. The main fire known as The Tongue of Freaking Satan Fire, was repo…Read full story
Death Valley Temperatures Hit a Record-Setting 163 Degrees and The Sand Is Literally On Fire
DEATH VALLEY, California – (Satire News) – Veteran meteorologists are saying that they have never seen nothing like the hellacious heat wave that is blasting Death Valley. Accuweather forecaster Burton “Heat Index” Fitzfarmer, who has been in the…Read full story
The News the non News and more!
Having launched with a bang (they had only just met) GB News arrived on our screens on, June 13th 2021 and with any luck at all will vanish by June 30th 2021. What promised to be a breath of fresh air within the world of news has quickly sunk to t…Read full story
Piss-Artist Aussies go on warpath as breweries announce, "Alcohol Kills!"
Smoking Kills, no doubt, but then again smokers know this fact before puffing away at their favourite drug. Even images of decaying teeth, black lungs cannot stop smokers smoking! The alcohol Australian producing fraternity has also decided to put…Read full story
Kellyanne Conway Spotted Driving a Taco Truck in Baltimore
BALTIMORE – (Satire News) – Many GOP pundits gave Kellyanne Conway 100% credit for getting Trump’s ass into the White House. It is no secret that Conway spearheaded the Trumpster’s campaign, and lets face it, the washed-out, dishwater blonde knows…Read full story
The Beach Boys Will Be Going On Tour This Summer With Their Brand New Band Name
SANTA MONICA BEACH, California – (Satire News) – The Beach Boys first formed in 1961, and within a few years they became the most popular beach band in the entire world. Brian Wilson, the leader of the band is 78, and he recently spoke with Caroli…Read full story
Monica Lewinsky Spotted With Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler Tongue-Wrestling At The La Brea Tar Pits
LA BREA, California – (Satire News) – Reports that rock singer Steven Tyler is cheating on girlfriend Kate Gosselin have surfaced, as an unnamed source reported seeing the 73-year-old rock and roller with the much younger 47-year-old former White Hou…Read full story
Major League Baseball Says “Hell No!” To Pitchers Plea For Grip Enhancing Substances
NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) – MLB pitchers have banded together and 147, recently signed a petition that states that they want to be allowed to use grip enhancers, so that they are not embarrassed before millions of fans when the ball suddenly fa…Read full story