Facebook And Twitter Ban The Road Runner
BILLINGSGATE POST: If Wile E Biden had his way, the Trump Runner would be banned from Planet Earth - and beyond. It’s nightfall in the Sonoran Desert. For as long as anyone can remember, when the relentless sun goes down, falling below the horiz…Read full story
The New York Jets Have Decided To Change Their Team Uniform Colors And Possibly Move To San Antonio
NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) – Word coming out of the Jets hierarchy says that after the team’s dismal (2-14) record last year, the powers-that-be feel that they have to make a drastic change. Spokesperson Zeke Weatherwine, 91, said that severa…Read full story
New Mandate Requires US Citizens to Wear 3 Masks at All Times
Citing a recent upsurge in the number of COVID-19 cases, the Center for Disease Control has issued a tightening of safety precautions out of an over-abundance of caution. All US citizens must wear 3 levels of protection AT ALL TIMES. It must cove…Read full story
Russian scientists discover formula for shrinking people: Reports say hordes of tiny Russian agents will be in the US soon!
An anonymous source in Russia has reported that after years of trial and error, scientists have discovered a formula that can shrink an average human down to almost microscopic size. The source also reports that over 10,000 members of the Russian…Read full story
NASA ready for launch of Astronaut Octopussy!
After years of intensive training the first octopus astronaut called, Commander Octopussy, is ready to take control of a rocket heading to NASA's space station! NASA scientists decided not to employ humans anymore because they are much too expensi…Read full story
Trump’s Blood Pressure Level is 201 Over 127, and His Doctor Tells Him That He Has To Stop Consuming 7 Big Macs a Day
PALM BEACH, Florida – (Satire News) – A Mar-a-Lago insider has informed the news media that DJT’s personal physician Dr. Yang Fu Fi, has told the 74-year-old private citizen that he needs to seriously cut back on his addiction to Big Mac Burgers.Read full story
Geoff Ball's Euro Roundup
Hello! It's me, Geoff Ball, with your regular football news. We've finished with the European song contest for the year, now it's time for the European football contest. And let's hope the home nations do better than they did at the singing. I…Read full story
Senator Kevin McCarthy Addresses The Rumor That Russian President Vladimir Putin Shipped Him 75 Bottles of Vodka at No Charge.
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) – Senator Kevin McCarthy appeared on "The View," and he was asked to address the rumor that he recently received 75 bottles of vodka from the Kremlin at no cost to him. McCarthy, told co-host Whoopi Goldberg that, yes…Read full story
Kentucky Derby Winner “Medina Spirit” and Trainer Bob Baffert Are Both Hit With a Major Racing Suspension
LOUISVILLE, Kentucky – (Sports Satire) – In baseball, it’s three strikes and you’re out – in horse racing it’s two strikes and you’re out. Vox Populi is reporting that the black-haired horse and the white-haired trainer are being put in the corner…Read full story
Kim Kardashian is Tapped By President Joe Biden To Be The Director of The Newly Formed Department of Women’s Rights
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – In a move that has the entire left coast state of California cheering with joyous joy, the oldest of the 5 Kardashian sisters has been chosen by President Biden to head up the newly-formed Department of Women’s Righ…Read full story
Marjorie Taylor Greene Admits To Anderson Cooper That She Has A Big Crush on Tucker Carlson
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The woman who most Americans consider to be uglier than a baboons butt, recently confided to Anderson Cooper, that ever since Valentine’s Day, she has had one huge, effen crush on the guy whose expression looks as i…Read full story
Trae Young Has Been Given Full Ownership of the New York Knicks, Although It Seems Like He Took It
New York Knicks owner James Dolan, who most people know from the Spike Lee incident at Madison Square Garden, has awarded full ownership of the team to Atlanta Hawks point guard Trae Young. This includes Madison Square Garden, all copyrights, and all…Read full story