A Kentucky Woman Gets The Gettysburg Address Tattooed on Her Breasts

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 2 June 2021

image for A Kentucky Woman Gets The Gettysburg Address Tattooed on Her Breasts
The pole dancer/dentist shown pre-inking, says that her dental appointment bookings run into the winter of 2023.

WOODCHUCK HORMONES, Kentucky – (Satire News) – A woman who relatives, friends, and the homeless say has one hell of a sense of humor has just made national news.

Lolita Sweetwater, 28, who says she’s a pole dancer/dentist, recently had her 38-DDD breasts tattooed with The Gettysburg Address, which contains 272 words.

Roberto Alvin Riggavelli, the tattoo artist who performed the inking, said that although it’s a very weird tattoo request, it's not the strangest by far.

He said that several years ago a professional NBA basketball player, who shall go nameless, requested to have the faces of all 5 of his ex-wives tattooed on his pecker.

Riggavelli shook his head and laughed as he recalled that during the inking process he had to stop six times in order to let things settle down before he could continue.

Lolita says that she loves her new boobs tattoo and said that she has gotten very nice compliments from males from 6 to 96.

Meanwhile she has already been booked to appear on “The View,” “The Cupcake Wars,” “The Cinderella Zephyr Bitchin' Show,” and “The Housewives of Intercourse, Pennsylvania.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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