PHOENIX – (Satire News) – Boom Boom News is reporting that after nearly 6 weeks of vote recounting in Arizona’s Maricopa County, the results show that out of the 2,193,702 votes cast in the county, there was not one single discrepancy found; NOT ONE! nothing, non, nein, nopers, nada.
Arizona senator, Elmo F. Fugmocker, who is a hard-core Republican told BBN that this carnivalesque, flim-flam, con show was nothing but a waste of the Maricopa County taxpayer’s time and dollar$.
The Senator said that the total cost of the exercise in downright unmitigated stupidity comes with a price tag of $19.7 million.
He further went on to say that he is going to start a petition with 19 other state GOP senators to send D. Johnny Trump the bill for the total amount.
The senator also noted that 83 of the official vote counters were brought in from the European nation of Pisagovia.
And upon further investigation, he divulged that the Pisagovians were only paid 75 cents an hour, whereas the Republican vote counters were paid $115 an hour, plus gas money, food money, and they also received 4 complimentary tickets each to an Arizona Diamondbacks baseball game.
Meanwhile, Nancy Pelosi is so angry at the rampant, needless waste of taxpayers money that she is going to talk to Vice-President Kamala Harris about having every single U.S. Post Office in Maricopa county shut down.
[EDITOR’S NOTE: According to the Merrimac-Webster Dictionary, the word Maricopa is Mescalero Apache for “Honey, I’ve looked all over the friggin’ teepee, and I cannot find my damn rain dance boxer shorts anywhere?”]
