An Emergency Visit At Walter Reed Medical Center?
Someone made an emergency trip to Walter Reed Medical Center last year. There's a rumor that someone got something stuck north of the mangos. The rumor follows that, after several days, it hadn't surrendered. So, it had to be removed. Professiona…
Read full storyAn Epic Irish Fail
Urgent from our reporters that just got back from Dublin, Ireland. Our team was sent over the pond to find out what new and invigorating things are taking place in that green country. They stayed there for 2 weeks so they would have time to meet peop…
Read full storyApp Shark: New Species Discovered
The App Shark is a new species that has been discovered in the Pacific Ocean. Scientists learned that it is tech-savvy and has a built-in Apple iPhone within its nose. When the App Shark swims, it generates electric energy that charges its built…
Read full story2020 Hot Dog Eating Contest
The 2020 Nathan’s Annual Hot Dog Eating Competition was under way this last summer, and everybody who is everybody watched from where they could. There weren’t many sports out there, so for a sports fan to find this one going on, was a diamond in the…
Read full storyLife-saving Financial Tips
My book, “Trust Me, Wall Street Has Your Best Interests at Heart”, will be hitting the virtual shelves in the near future. It is full of life-saving tips on how the markets work, and plans of action you can take in order to beat Wall Street. Some…
Read full storyPresident Trump’s White House South Lawn Coronavirus-Spreader Campaign Hate Rally Flops
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Political Satire) – The Los Angeles Post-Gazette said that Trump’s lowly-anticipated White House hate rally came off with all the excitement of morning dew. The President repeated the same old batch of lies that he has come to…
Read full storyWalking Dead Show Must Incorporate Socially Distanced Zombies....I Mean Walkers
Covid-19 has entered the realm of The Walking Dead. New state and federal regulations on being out in public have leaked over into the world of this beloved show. In recent episodes, swarms of walking dead corpses have been meandering about togeth…
Read full storyVice Presidential Debate Leaked Unused Question
We all watched the presidential candidates Mike Pence and Kamala Harris go at it, and it was toned down when compared to last week's affair. These two important leaders gave us their best insight into how their running-mates would run our country…
Read full storyWoman Realizes She’s a Terrible Bore When Zoom Camera Keeps Focusing on Plant Behind Her
Arlington, Illinois - A local woman whose downtown office closing during the pandemic has resulted in her working from home and participating in numerous zoom meetings, has been forced to accept the reality that her lack of wit and personality have f…
Read full storyCareer Criminal Caught
In a triumph for justice, a 56-year-old theft was finally solved today, and the perpetrator brought to book. Eddie Gleeson, 97, of Middlesbrough, was arrested after a successful police sting outside the city's central library yesterday. Criminal…
Read full storyDonald Trump Is Desperate
While Susan Collins promises to do the windows of everyone in Maine who is voting for her, Donald Trump is trying to win the minority vote away from Joe Biden with an invitation to the White House. First, he’s trying to folksy up his first name b…
Read full storyGareth Bale Asks Andy Carroll to Stand In for Him So He Can Play Golf Next Sunday in North London
Tottenham Stadium - Newly-arrived Spurs striker Gareth Bale, scheduled to start next Sunday's match against West Ham, has asked Newcastle and former West Ham forward Andy Carroll to show up in his place, due to the fact that he had inadvertently sch…
Read full storyTrump Supporters No Longer Fear Coronavirus
Supporters of the US president, Donald Trump, have come out in force across the country, and said that, after he spoke so boldly about his having defeated the Coronavirus, and telling everyone not to fear COVID-19, they, too, can now face up to the p…
Read full storyHull City: Normal Service Has Been Resumed
All good things must come to an end, and so it was with Hull City's 'perfect' start to the new football season, when they visited Fleetwood Town last night, and normal service was resumed, after the Tigers were both battered and trounced in a humblin…
Read full storyAussie wife refuses to jump in ocean to save her hubby from being eaten by Great White!
It's a well-known fact, that surfing in shark-infested waters can be dangerous. However, it appears that many surfers tend to believe they are immune to shark attacks, judging by their insistence on entering the water to catch huge waves crashing in,…
Read full storyTrump Issues COVID Challenge
Donald Trump is becoming increasingly unhinged as he sees his reelection hopes dimming with each passing day. In his most desperate move to date, he has actually issued a COVID challenge to Joe Biden. Trump noted that he recovered from COVID in…
Read full storyTaylor Swift Says If Donald Trump Gets Any Fatter, Instead of a Golf Cart, He’s Going To Need a Dump Truck
NASHVILLE – (Satire News) – The Chattanooga Divulger Record stated that Taylor Swift tweeted out to her 141 million followers that if they really, really like her, they’ll vote for Joe Biden. Swift said that Joe cares about people, whereas Trump c…
Read full storyIvanka Trump Plays a Round of Golf in Honor of President Daddy
BEDMINSTER, New Jersey – (Sports Story) – ESPN-4 was at the President's Bedminster Golf Course when his daughter, Ivanka, teed off. The statuesque blonde was feeling very sad after having talked to her father, who told her that he was extremely de…
Read full storyPresident Trump Transfers Millions From His Campaign Fund to His Personal Charity Fund
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – An independent auditing firm has just revealed that President Trump recently transferred $8.3 million from his re-election campaign fund to his own personal charity fund. The chief auditor with the Milwaukee audi…
Read full storyThe Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Bailey Circus Resents The News Media Referring to Trump as a Clown
SARASOTA, Florida – (Satire News) – The CEO of the world-famous Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Bailey Circus, is reportedly angrier than a giraffe with a sore throat. Atlas P. Londonderry, told the news media that he does not appreciate them refe…
Read full storyPresident Trump Cancels The Second Debate Because The Debate Committee Said They Would Not Put Up With His Bullsh*t a Second Time
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) - The Washington Globe-Express says that President Trump has backed out of the second presidential debate. Trump was not happy with the fact that the debate moderator was going to have the authority to cut off his…
Read full story