WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) - The Washington Globe-Express says that President Trump has backed out of the second presidential debate.
Trump was not happy with the fact that the debate moderator was going to have the authority to cut off his microphone anytime he rudely interrupts when Joe Biden is speaking.
POTUS was told, in no uncertain terms, that he may own Trump Tower, Trump University, and the Trump Tire Shop, but he does not own the National Debate Federation.
Trump was also demanding that Joe Biden show his birth certificate to prove he wasn’t born in Guatemala.
The NDF quickly told the President to go eff himself, because he is not going to boss them around the way he intimidates the likes of pu*sy wimps, such as Graham, McConnell, Jordan, Cruz, and Rubio.
Trump’s blood pressure reportedly shot up to 203 over 179. He turned as orange as a tangerine, and his hair stood on end.
Meanwhile, Melania has allegedly been texting back and forth with a certain, unnamed NBA player.
