Life-saving Financial Tips

Funny story written by Butch

Saturday, 10 October 2020

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Ups and downs

My book, “Trust Me, Wall Street Has Your Best Interests at Heart”, will be hitting the virtual shelves in the near future. It is full of life-saving tips on how the markets work, and plans of action you can take in order to beat Wall Street.

Some of our best financial analysts, without giving away too much, have stated that the stock market will most likely experiences ups. Many, many, many ups. And people will laugh, cry, and smoke cigars explaining to their friends how smart they were, and how stupid everyone else was for NOT investing in the stock market.

They went on to say, that, later, the markets would experience downs. Many, many, many downs. More than a really good NFL game. And people will cry, drink, and tell their friends how stupid they were but their friends were so smart for NOT investing in the stock market.

Also, my book will be available for $29.99 on Amazon, at Wal-Mart, and Uzbekistan (where my first book , “How To Turn Turds into Little Gold Dingleberries”) was very successful!

Without giving away too much, many financial planners have esteemed my book so much - mainly since I paid them to do so.

Some tips taken from my book will be: 1) if you stay at home for 6 months at a time, you can’t spend anything; 2) exploiting the energy from your farts; 3) cut your monthly utility cords…literally. Get some scissors and do it!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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