While Susan Collins promises to do the windows of everyone in Maine who is voting for her, Donald Trump is trying to win the minority vote away from Joe Biden with an invitation to the White House.
First, he’s trying to folksy up his first name by calling himself, Donny.
That goes over like a morbidly obese man sitting on a daisy. But anyway, William Barr introduced him to the outdoor White House invitees as, Donny Trump.
Donny took to the microphone on the Truman Balcony in rolled-up shirt sleeves, saying, “Thanks Billy. Billy Barr everyone, my Attorney. I mean, Attorney General.”
No applause followed, so Donny, never one to waste a soundless moment, launched into his campaign speech, “Billy here is going to arrest Joseph Biden, Kenyan born Barack Hussein Obama and Hillary Clinton for messing with my 2016 campaign erection, I mean election. They spied on my campaign, and that was the biggest crime in the history of the whole world.”
Using a megaphone, someone on the White House lawn asked, “What about the Holocaust?”
A group of bearded, overweight men wearing open plaid shirts, black military fatigues (hanging under their bellies) and carrying automatic weapons, immediately set upon him, doing a Mexican hat dance on his megaphone, dragging him down the White House driveway, and throwing him out of the gates along with what remained of his megaphone.
Donny continued. “I’m going to get each one of you the same kind of coronavirus medicine I was given at Walter Reed. That’s a promise. Joseph, what’s his name, the communist candidate from the other party, won’t do that, but I will. That’s a promise.”
A brave soul, who could only be described as a sacrificial lamb, asked, “Is that a promise like releasing your tax records?”
He will be served for dinner.
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