Why Can’t People Pray In Their Kitchen?
Lord, where are you? Now the Bone Spur veteran would like everyone in the country to gather together this Sunday, probably in an unventilated enclosure, to cough and sneeze on one another, without wearing masks, as he demonstrated at the Ford plant s…
Read full storyThe Morbidly Obese Guy In The White House
Nancy Pelosi referred to a particular guy in the White House as being morbidly obese, and that description did not sit too well with the guy in the White House. Nope! He immediately called Nancy Pelosi, the respected Speaker of the House, mother of f...
Read full storyDisappointed Local Man Decides to Remove Avatar from Facebook After it Fails to Improve Image
Springfield - A local man, upon seeing friends on Facebook posting cartoon-like avatars that seemed to improve their looks, tried the app for himself, but removed the resulting image after, in his opinion, it did not seem to have the same effect on h…
Read full storyOverweight Old Guy Who Paints Himself Orange Worried About How He Looks in a Mask
Ypsilanti, Michigan - A recent visitor to the Ford manufacturing facility here was reported to be concerned that being seen in a protective mask, as is required by company and state policy to prevent spread of the coronavirus, might ruin his carefull…
Read full storyKabuki theatre production had unexpected ending
The village of Chaffinch St Cock is hardly known for its theatre - its most famous actor is Algernon Wonk, the man whose legs can be seen walking with sheep in the opening credits of Emmerdale. He unfortunately died in a bizarre self-asphyxiation acc...
Read full storyLate-Breaking Progressive News: Sugar Is Bad for You; Government Surveillance Is Necessary to Keep You from Getting Sick; Trump Is Not a Good President.
Providing a progressive perspective on lifestyle and current events, independent news show Common Nonsense recently broke several revelatory stories, beginning with news that certain studies suggest that sugar might not be very good for you. “Cont...
Read full storyPresident Trump Victim Of Humorless Nonsense Stories
It's been claimed that, although he is an incompetent fool, with few or no people skills, who has, against all rhyme, reason and common sense, become the forty-fifth President of the United States of America (POTUS), Donald Trump deserves better.
Read full storyMexico Offers To Lend The USA $900,000
MEXICO CITY – President Andres Manuel Lopez-Obrador, aka “Timmy,” has just informed the United States ambassador that his country is offering to lend the United States $900,000. The president of Mexico stated that his government fully understands...
Read full storyThe Latest Polls Show That if the Election Were Held Today Joe Biden Would Carry All 50 States
CHICAGO – The latest presidential poll result has caused President Trump to scream out at White House staff members. An insider who asked not to reveal her name for fear of reprisal, said that she saw the President push the White House bakery chef...
Read full storyPresident Trump’s Long Time Lawyer and Friend Michael Cohen is Released From Prison
MANHATTAN – Michael Cohen, the attorney that Donald J. Trump called his “Fixer,” has just been released from the Otisville Correctional Facility. Cohen, aka #2190562, was released early, and many are saying that it is because POTUS was scared as h...
Read full storySean Hannity Angrily Says That Melania Trump is Lying About President Trump and Him Having An Affair
NEW YORK CITY – Well, it certainly did not take long for Fox News Golden Boy, Sean Hannity, to fire back at the First Lady! Melania Trump told her husband’s personal attorney, Segundo Juarez, that she thinks that Donnie and Seany are about as clos...
Read full storyBoy Blew Trumpet Endlessly
In a bizarre turn of events earlier today, it's been reported that a boy armed with a plastic trumpet blew on it so hard, and for so long, that a man who lived opposite the little bastard felt like going across the road and ramming down his throat.
Read full storyElton John Has Taken Up The Trumpet
Sir Elton John, the Godfather of Glam, the Pontiff of the Piano, and the Royal Blower of the Pink Oboe, has said he has been busy during the current lockdown in respect of the Coronavirus, and has written several new songs employing his new musical l...
Read full story