WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a shocking development, President Trump has just learned that one of his press conference/campaign pep rally co-hosts, has just gone into quarantine for the Coronavirus.
Dr. Anthony "The Straight Shooter" Fauci, the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, accidentally took a sip from Trump’s Kool-Aid cup and started coughing, sneezing, and doing the hokey pokey.
Trump immediately asked him what the hell he was doing. The good doctor replied, “Why, I’m doing the hokey pokey, you orange-colored hate-filled, texting twit.”
Trump reached over to slap him, but was stopped by press secretary and woman whose voice is way too high, Kayleigh McEnany.
McEnany, who some say is a cross between a blonde Dora the Explorer and a Cabbage Patch Doll, quickly jumped between the two, and ended up getting her false eyelashes knocked completely off her munchkin face.
She was asked by a reporter for the Venezuelan News Agency why she, President Trump, and Vice-President Pence were not wearing medical masks, since they all stand extremely close to Dr. Fauci.
The Kewpie doll replied, that she personally takes 47 different types of anti-flu pills daily.
She said that Vice-President Pence hasn’t had a cold, the flu, the mumps, or an STD in over 30 years.
And as for POTUS, she simply said, “Look, the president is protected in that he is wearing a pair of his wife Melania’s full-body sheer stockings."
Kayleigh then turned a bit pink and added, “Plus, it's my understanding that our president is also wearing a condom.”