Mirrors sick of all of your Robert De Niro impressions
Mirrors across America have claimed, not unreasonably, that they are all sick of your Robert De Niro Impressions. Mirror, Cindy Sheen, said 'Honestly, if Gary asks me one more time if I am talking to him, I won't be happy. Gary, we know you are th...
Read full storyChicken Crosses Road: Questioned For Crow-Ona Virus Violation
BILLINGSGATE POST: For those who wish to live in a world where a wayward chicken’s motives are not questioned when he crosses a road, they will be disappointed. Foghorn Leghorn, a bombastic rooster with a penchant for mischief, was apprehended by...
Read full storyYorkshire 'Flu
We're all having a bit of a grim time of it at the moment, but think on! - some folks have a grim time of it all the time! Yes, you might think that things have got a little dark and depressing for you during the current health crisis, but 'dark a...
Read full storyMan Buys Vast Quantity Of Drinking Water
A man who suspected he might have trouble finding sufficient supplies of clean potable water for his family during the current worldwide health scare, has bought what's been described as an enormous quantity of drinking water to 'get them through the...
Read full storyNew York Man Realizes He Has No Potential
“I always felt bad about myself for not realizing my full potential,” said Calvin Doyle of Brooklyn, New York. “But then I realized that I probably had – there just wasn’t much to realize. Hardly anything, in fact.” According to Doyle, the realiza...
Read full storyMany Democrats Are Now Wanting Gov. Andrew Cuomo to Throw His Hat Into the Presidential Ring
NEW YORK CITY - Governor Andrew Cuomo is receiving lots of praise from many people, including Republicans who are just simply fed up with Trump’s endless charade of non-presidential antics. People are saying that the New York governor conducts him...
Read full storyThe Leader of China Vows to Start Referring to C-19 as Trump’s Donvid-45
HONG KONG - The people of China are extremely upset with President Trump, who purposely, arrogantly, and sarcastically, has insisted on calling the Coronavirus the Chinese Virus. The leader of China, Xi Jinping, politely asked Trump to refrain fro...
Read full storyPrince Charles Has Tested Positive For C-19 – Fox News Immediately Reports That It’s Just a Democratic Hoax
LONDON - Reports coming out of England confirm that Prince Charles, the son of Queen Elizabeth II, has, in fact, just tested postive for the COVID-19 flu virus. And, within 45 seconds, Trump Central (aka Fox News) reported that they truly believe...
Read full storyThe Professional Bowlers Association Will Now Require All Bowlers to Wipe Off Their Balls After Each Toss
CHICAGO - PBA spokesperson Millard P. Waterbank has just informed the members of the association about the new bowling policy that will go into effect immediately. Waterbank stated that, in the interest of not spreading the COVFEFE-45 Flu, all mem...
Read full storyThe Tom & Gisele Brady Bunch Has Fallen Head-Over-Heels in Love With Florida
TAMPA BAY – Sporting Chance Magazine is reporting that the entire sports-loving Tom Brady family is totally thrilled about moving to Florida. Gisele Bundchen-Brady said that after being in Florida for just a week and a half she has already gotten...
Read full storyThe Golden State Warriors with a Dismal 15-50 Record Are Thrilled That The NBA Season Was Suspended
OAKLAND – One NBA team that is not shedding tears over the season being cut short are the Golden State Warriors. Coach Steve Kerr’s team had the worst record of the entire 30 NBA teams. In fact, Warriors fans were already wearing medical masks, fa...
Read full storyMan Bums A Fag
There was controversy in central London earlier this week when an overly-friendly American tourist approached a gentleman stood minding his own business in a shop doorway, and asked him if he could have homosexual relations with another man. John...
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