Man Buys Vast Quantity Of Drinking Water

Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 26 March 2020

image for Man Buys Vast Quantity Of Drinking Water
It's thirsty work, worrying about a virus

A man who suspected he might have trouble finding sufficient supplies of clean potable water for his family during the current worldwide health scare, has bought what's been described as an enormous quantity of drinking water to 'get them through the crisis'.

Moys Kenwood, 56, has been bombarded with bullshit from TV stations and the internet suggesting that supplies of essential items might run low, or even dry up, during the advised stay-at-home period.

But some people are gullible, and believe the bullshit.

And so it came to pass that Kenwood imagined a situation in which the water-bottling company had closed, local shops had sold their last supplies, and even the river behind his house had been dredged dry by thirsty residents - and this required immediate action.

He gave orders to his wife, and off she went to a shop down the street, returning ten minutes later with a barrow pulled by the shopkeeper, containing two hundred 12-bottle packs of 500ml drinking water. These were unloaded into the house, which groaned under the weight.

The stash of water now joins the thirty-five 100kg bags of rice Kenwood has stored at his house, leaving little room to maneuver around the building.

The dope said:

"It's thirsty work, worrying about a deadly virus."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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