Man Bums A Fag

Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 26 March 2020

image for Man Bums A Fag
Two men gaily looking for someone to give them a cigarette

There was controversy in central London earlier this week when an overly-friendly American tourist approached a gentleman stood minding his own business in a shop doorway, and asked him if he could have homosexual relations with another man.

John Strumpf, 35, of Chicago, was in London with his wife, Maisie, for a few days, and decided to take in Oxford Street, having heard of it somewhere. The American had left his cigarettes in his hotel room, however, and, after four hours of being led around by the nose, courtesy of Maisie, he needed a smoke.

Maisie told John was going intobZara, that she'd be ten minutes, and he was to wait outside.

Strumpf saw two men smoking in an empty boarded-up shop's doorway, and asked one of them politely:

"Could I bum a fag?"

The two men, both aged around 30, stared at each other, then at Strumpf, who went on, smiling:

"I'll pay for it!"

A common depraved thread running through their evil minds, the two men dragged the innocent and unsuspecting Strumpf through the doorway and into the rear of the empty shop, one silencing him with a hand over his mouth, and the other

(continued on page 721)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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