The Golden State Warriors with a Dismal 15-50 Record Are Thrilled That The NBA Season Was Suspended

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 26 March 2020

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Coach Kerr said that he even consulted a Louisiana bayous voodoo woman to find out why his team was playing so bad.

OAKLAND – One NBA team that is not shedding tears over the season being cut short are the Golden State Warriors.

Coach Steve Kerr’s team had the worst record of the entire 30 NBA teams. In fact, Warriors fans were already wearing medical masks, facial bandanas, and Lone Ranger masks way before C-19 hit.

Coach Kerr said that he had no idea why his team was playing so lackluster. He noted that one of the starters had even showed up on the bench wearing a pair of Spiderman flip-flops.

One of the assistant coaches suggested that maybe the lusterless play was, somehow, possibly linked to the Gatorade.

He pointed out that the once-wonderfully-wonderful Warriors, as Ringo Starr calls them, had turned into the listlessly-listless squaws.

When the assistant coach was asked why he felt that way, he replied that, for a few days, he had been noticing that the Gatorade was tasting like chicken wings.

Kerr had one of the bottles checked out at a local chemical lab in Oakland and, sure enough, the chemist reported that he had found traces of chicken wings in the drink.

The chemist pointed out to the Warriors' coach that the factory where the Gatorade is manufactured used to be a chicken hatchery, back in 2017, before Gatorade bought it.

So as NASA says...problem solved.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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