
No Nasty Questions For Trump
For such a belligerent sloth, when asked a simple question, President Donald Trump turns into a snowflake, and calls the question nasty, and accuses the reporter of working for a loser organization. Then, he says the reporter asking the question was...
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Ethiopia to hold benefit concert for Brits
Musicians in Ethiopia are coming together to hold a benefit concert on Wednesday, to raise money for people in the UK impacted upon by the coronavirus. The concert named “Now It's Your Turn", will be held on Wednesday at the Addis Ababa Stadium.
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Artist sick of self-portrait
Hipster and self-proclaimed artist, Wayne Burrows, has declared that, at less than a week into self-isolation, he is already bored of self-portraits. 'I have one of those interesting, lived-in faces,' said the 47-year-old from Mithering on the Tre...
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Tea-boy only making tea for himself now
Shane Thompson, a twenty-four-year-old graduate, is only making tea for himself, now his office has shut down, and he is in self-isolation. 'I spent three years studying Greek philosophy, and then I got a job at Carpet Warehouse in the high street...
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Family pleased by the BBC's repeats of Miranda and Mrs Brown's Boys
The Johnsons, Gary and Lorraine, and their son, Thomas, are pleased by the BBC's repeats of Miranda and oi]Mrs Brown's Boys. Talking to us earlier, Gary said, 'I love these repeats that the BBC are showing. Not because they are quality television,...
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Trump Says He Will Nuke China If He Knows, For Sure, They Are Serving Bat Soup
White House sources close to President Donald Trump have said that he is seething over as-yet unsubstantiated reports that restaurants in Wuhan are, once more, serving Bat Soup to customers. Wuhan is the city where the Coronavirus first leapt into...
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Corona Cosmos: What Kind of Social Distancer Are YOU?
While the term “social distancing” has an off-puttingly clinical ring, the fact is, we each bring our own individual style and flair to the practice of self-isolation. What kind of social distancer are YOU? Peruse these common social distancing types...
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Music Fan Was Unfamiliar With Cardi B
Cardi B, the rapper, might be a household name in some households in the US, but one avid music fan in the UK claimed, this morning, that he'd never even heard of her. The singer, real name Belcalis Marlenis Almánzar, was the first female, black r...
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Donald Trump – The Pied Piper of The Potomac (6 Tweets)
* If I had to pick someone to blame this Chinese Flu on it would have to be Genghis Khan/ He was 91% Chinese. I read once in grade school that he was one of the very first people to suffer from bacteria. * I want my base and my baseless to know th...
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Fox News is Reporting That Several of its Employees Now Have The C-19 Virus
NEW YORK CITY – The network known as Trump Central has just announced that several of its employees have tested positive for the COVIR-19. Sean Hannity’s Network which somehow still refers to itself as “Fair & Balanced” has finally stopped pu...
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Married Couples Are Starting To Practice Social Distancing Sex
WEST HOLLYWOOD - The American Intercourse Council has issued some guidelines that it is asking married couples to follow. After much discussion within the organization, they have decided to make a recommendation in keeping with the social-distanci...
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The State of Colorado is Trying to Find A Strain of Marijuana That Will Kill The Coronavirus
DENVER – The Colorado State Cannabis Coalition has been asked by President Trump and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi to try and come up with a strain of Marijuana that will combat the Coronavirus. Trump spoke with Virgil Chickarino, director of...
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Many of Nevada’s Prostitutes Are Applying For Unemployment Benefits
LAS VEGAS – Now that the number one entertainment mecca of the world has come to a total standstill, many Las Vegas employees are having to apply for unemployment benefits. One group of individuals that is really feeling the pinch,is the wild, wic...
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Cristiano Ronaldo Signs For Hull City
There was great excitement in East Yorkshire this morning, when it was revealed that the former Manchester United, Real Madrid and Juventus star, Cristiano Ronaldo, had signed for Championship strugglers, Hull City. No cash was involved, as the Ti...
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Boris Johnson To Meet Coronavirus Leader
You know things are at a critical stage when government leaders offer to meet a virus for negotiations, but that is exactly the announcement that came out of Downing Street this morning, when the British prime minister, Boris Johnson, told members of...
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Man Couldn't Get Booger That Was 'Just Around The Corner'
A man who had overcome a persistent winter cold, and had just about got back to full health, told colleagues this week, about how he had tried to remove a bogey from his nose, but couldn't, because the bloody thing was nestled "just too far around th...
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Man Makes Impassioned Plea To Coronavirus
A man who is at the epi-center of the deadly Coronavirus outbreak, has made an impassioned plea to the virus itself, to please, please, PLEASE leave himself and his family alone. Moys Kenwood, 56, who lives on Planet Earth, where the virus broke o...
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