Man Makes Impassioned Plea To Coronavirus

Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 23 March 2020

image for Man Makes Impassioned Plea To Coronavirus
The man earlier, hoping for a positive response from the Coronavirus

A man who is at the epi-center of the deadly Coronavirus outbreak, has made an impassioned plea to the virus itself, to please, please, PLEASE leave himself and his family alone.

Moys Kenwood, 56, who lives on Planet Earth, where the virus broke out in either December or January, claims he, his wife, and his two children have done absolutely nothing to warrant being hunted down by a virus, and they demand that it stop.

Kenwood hatched the idea for the appeal whilst watching his children running around the house, chasing each other amidst squeals of delight, little bundles of energy, blissfully unaware that the potentially-fatal Coronavirus was 'on its rounds', seeking out new hosts for its dirty work.

He said:

"I know it's out there somewhere. I don't know if it's listening, but, if it is, I'd just like to say to it, that we have done nothing wrong, we don't wish it any harm, personally, and we'd like it to leave us alone, and move on to someone else more deserving.

There are plenty of people out there who deserve to be virused more than us. We just get on with things, and mind our own business.

That's a metaphor, you understand. We don't really have a business.

I don't know if the Coronavirus has children of its own, but I would ask it to put itself in OUR position, and see how that feels. We are parents, and our children are completely innocent in all of this. Please leave them alone!"

He went on:

"I hope that, despite everything, that the Coronavirus has a conscience, and can find it deep inside its heart to show some compassion, instead of just wasting innocent lives in an indiscriminate way, like this. It just doesn't make any sense."

The message, which he posted on Facebook, has gone viral, with more than 100 views so far, and has attracted 13 'likes'.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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