Artist sick of self-portrait

Written by Ben Macnair

Monday, 23 March 2020

image for Artist sick of self-portrait
Oh god, not me again

Hipster and self-proclaimed artist, Wayne Burrows, has declared that, at less than a week into self-isolation, he is already bored of self-portraits.

'I have one of those interesting, lived-in faces,' said the 47-year-old from Mithering on the Trent, 'with a big, bushy beard, steam-punk glasses, and loads of tattoos, but it doesn't matter which face I pull, it is still only me. I have tried doing still lifes, and the cat, but she doesn't stay still long enough, and the fruit is a bit boring.'

We can sympathise with Wayne. He has another four months with his face and a furious cat. Happily, we don't.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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