Music Fan Was Unfamiliar With Cardi B

Written by Myke Woodson

Monday, 23 March 2020

image for Music Fan Was Unfamiliar With Cardi B
Cardi B? Who the fuck knows?

Cardi B, the rapper, might be a household name in some households in the US, but one avid music fan in the UK claimed, this morning, that he'd never even heard of her.

The singer, real name Belcalis Marlenis Almánzar, was the first female, black rapper since Lauren Hill - 20 years previously in 1998 - to have a number 1 hit single, but Myke Woodson was totally unaware of her existence until he read of her today on the internet.

A gang member and a stripper in her past, she is one of the most influential female singers in US music history, and is a perfect role model for wayward teenaged girls who have an attitude problem, aspirations of joining a criminal gang, fancy taking all of their clothes off in front of sleazy, murder-eyed men in basement-bar shitholes, and reciting violent-sounding, expletive-ridden ditties that they've dreamed up whilst taking it up the rear from a group of gangbangers in a dark alley.

Said Woodson:

"I'd never heard of her."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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