Prisons to release offenders early to prevent Coronavirus spread in US penal system
With prisons and jails in danger of becoming breeding grounds for the coronavirus, the White House has come up with a novel way of releasing criminals back into society earlier than their initial sentences demanded While not classed as parole, th...
Read full storyABBA Linked To New Gene That Sustains Their Popularity
Scientists at the University of Stockholm, today revealed that a 40-year-long study of the musical group ABBA, has lead to a breakthrough. The iconic popular Swedish group has had a little bit of help maintaining their popularity. "ABBA has a secr...
Read full storyIan Curtis workout video released after 40 year wait
It's the exercise video that nobody thought would get released. Before he died, Joy Division's lead singer Ian Curtis recorded a thirty-minute exercise routine compiled from live performances where he shows how he keeps in shape. Entitled "Ian Cur...
Read full storyOverweight woman in mermaid costume mistaken for a whale and rolled into the sea
Doris Knight, 46, of Swansea, was enjoying the bracing March weather on an enclosed rocky beach at the Mumbles, South Wales, wearing a fashionable black and white mermaid tail that matched her swimsuit. However, she got the fright of her life when te...
Read full storyDonald Trump’s Latest Fantasy
Among the numerous fantasies or lies that Donald Trump has promoted during his presidency, the latest, as of Friday, March 13, is his claim that he had nothing to do with disbanding the emergency office of Global Health Security, or White House Pande...
Read full storyCDC Officials: Staying Home and Posting Toilet Paper Memes on Facebook is Still a Safe Activity
Washington - Health Officials in the Trump administration and the Centers for Disease Control confirmed on Friday that it is not a high-risk activity for seniors, and others at risk from the Coronavirus contagion, to just stay sheltered in their hom...
Read full storyAmericans Find Cornoavirus Best Warded Off by Lying on Couch and Watching a Lot of T.V.
Amidst panic over the COVID-19 epidemic, which prompted United States President Donald Trump to declare a national emergency, many Americans report finding that coronavirus is best warded off by lying on the couch and watching a lot of T.V. “The c...
Read full storyLiverpool Not Champions Yet - Manchester City Boss Pep Guardiola
A report in the Telegraph newspaper which says that Premier League leaders Liverpool are likely to be crowned champions even if the season is cancelled, has angered officials of those clubs 'chasing' the Reds, who say that a football season is not ov...
Read full storyColorado Denies That Traces of The Coronavirus Have Been Found In The State's Pot Supply
DENVER – Governor John Hickenlooper of Colorado is very upset with President Trump, who mistakenly tweeted that traces of the Coronavirus had been found in the state’s supply of marijuana. Hickenlooper suggested that POTUS needs to worry about tha...
Read full storyThe White House Has Run Out of Toilet Paper
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Two of the White House maids have disclosed to a reporter with The Washington Globe Express that the huge mansion at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue has run out of toilet paper. The two White House maids, who did not want to give their...
Read full storyUS Medical Experts Are Puzzled As To Why The USA Has Almost 2,200 COVID-19 Cases Whereas Mexico Only Has 12
MEXICO CITY - Mexico’s Department of Colds and Flus reports that the country has had only 12 cases of C-19, whereas China has had over 81,000, and the USA has had almost 2,200. U.S. medical researchers are baffled by this big discrepancy, since th...
Read full storyJack-In-The-Box Suggests That Eating Their Ultimate Cheesburger Could Help Fight Off Coronavirus Germs
San Diego, California - A representative with Jack-In-The-Box has informed a reporter with The Los Angeles Post-Gazette that their corporation feels that eating an Ultimate Cheesburger could possibly prevent someone from getting COVID-19. Pettus H...
Read full storyOne of The Nation’s Most Infamous Prostitutes Says Her Business Has Dropped Off By 91% Because of The COVID-19
NEW ORLEANS - The dreaded Coronavirus scare is having an impact on everything and everyone, as evidenced by one Velvetina Winterwood, 29, of New Orleans. Velvy, as her friends, relatives, clients, and husband call her, is one of the most creativel...
Read full story