Ian Curtis workout video released after 40 year wait

Funny story written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface

Saturday, 14 March 2020

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It's the exercise video that nobody thought would get released. Before he died, Joy Division's lead singer Ian Curtis recorded a thirty-minute exercise routine compiled from live performances where he shows how he keeps in shape.

Entitled "Ian Curtis: Spaz Out", it was kept on hold by distributors who feared that to release it would be in poor taste. However, now that capitalism and public opinion no longer care about such trivial matters, the video is available on the internet for £3.99.

The video has a four-star rating (out of five). In online reviews, Curtis has been described as "a jerkier Mr Motivator", as he thrashes his limbs wildly and shuffles on the spot. Many viewers are in no doubt that his routine works, and is practical.

Fitness expert Geoff Pecs said, "It's a great workout, and you can do it standing on the spot, so you can do it anywhere. In a lift, in the shower, even at a funeral. I'm doing it right now, as you interview me."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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