It Is What It Is
It is what it is! That really means: So what! Trump said so what about the death of over 100,000 due to his absence of executive leadership. At the end of a football game or golf tournament, sure, It is what it is! But with over 100,000 dead, wha…
Read full storyGeorge W. Endorses Kanye West (Part 2)
This is a continuation of the piece in which former president, George W. Bush endorsed Kanye West for president. Last time, we asked W about Biden, and this time he’ll tell us why he’s not voting for Trump. Q: "Trump has done many of the things…
Read full storyMom Tells Son That Eating Fruit And Vegetables Will Make Him Grow Up Big And Strong
Looking after your children properly and administering good advice is what being a parent is all about, and that's what one caring mom was thinking yesterday when she advised her four-year-old son that eating fruit and vegetables would make him big a…
Read full storyCaptain Tom Exposed by Vigilante Walter Mitty Hunters Club
Captain Sir Thomas Moore, popularly known as “Captain Tom”, has been exposed by self-styled vigilante group 'The Walter Mitty Hunters Club' for exaggerating his claims of service during World War 2. The group, made up of former and serving member…
Read full storyMan who lost millions in one department, expects a job in another department
Felix Fortherington, who used to work in the department of chocolate money, has now applied for a job in the department of paperclip joinery, knowing full well that last month, he lost millions and the faith of most of the workforce. 'It was not r…
Read full storyFootball Stadium To Become A Library
It's been announced in the last few minutes that one of the teams relegated from the Championship to League One on the final day of last season, believe there is so little atmosphere at their stadium, that they intend to turn it into a public library…
Read full storyTeenager upset that his intended girlfriend is going out with someone who actually asked her out
Love-lorn teenager Thomas Johnson is upset that his intended girlfriend, Sarah, is now going out with someone who is going into the sixth form in September, as long as he gets the right results. Speaking to us earlier, Thomas said: 'I always had m…
Read full storyNew Trump Executive Order to Regulate "Nasty, Horrible Female Democrats and Journalists"
Washington - President Donald Trump, who has suffered greatly at the hands of essentially any female who is a member of the Democratic Party or works for a mainstream media company, has signed into law an executive order declaring their activities il…
Read full storyJoe Biden Comes Out Of Basement, Sees Shadow And Goes Back Into Hibernation
BILLINGSGATE POST: On February 2, when the groundhog is said to come out of its hole at the end of hibernation, if the animal sees its shadow, it portends to six more weeks of winter weather. Anthropomorphically speaking - which is an art form w…
Read full storyBand not really missing their singer
Middle-aged blues and progressive rock band Chainsaw have realised that, since they don't rehearse much together, they don't miss lead singer Derek 'Strepsils' Jones. Morose and very tall bassist Matthew Pugsley said: 'I miss playing with Stuart '…
Read full storyIdiot still spelling Can't with an R
Wayne Badger, a local idiot, is still putting an R into the word can't, despite the red line on his computer, and his friends telling him not to. The hipster wrote in to tell us: 'I still carn't believe that carn't is spelt out as can't. I refuse…
Read full storyBook author 'tops himself' after only flogging one book to his grandma!
(UNEDITED) Proclaiming himself to be a bestselling author because he hit the top million on the Amazon charts with his pathetic effort, unknown author JoJo Jobson has now divulged the truth in his last will and testament, leaving $ 0,08 cents in roya…
Read full storyThe Republican National Convention Will Feature Kid Rock, Diamond and Silk, and the Trumpapalooza Ass Kickin’Band
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Political Satire) - The RNC has just released the names of some of the people and performers who will be at the Republican National Convention. Spokeswoman Birdie Custardtree, 58, said that the featured performer will be Kid Ro…
Read full storyThe Green Bay Packers Announce They Will Be Allowing 200 Season Ticket Holders to Attend Their Opening Home Game
GREEN BAY, Wisconsin – (Sports Satire) - The Green Bay Packers have the distinction of being the only sports team in America that is community-owned. The Packers have 350,000 stockholders, and they have voted 349,967 to 33, to allow 200 of the ol…
Read full storyThe Atlanta Braves Promise Their Fans That They Plan To Drop The Racist Team Name
ATLANTA – (Sports Satire) - ESPN-4 is reporting that Liberty Media Corporation, which owns the Atlanta Braves, wants their fans to please be patient because they are in the process of changing the team name. A spokesperson for the Braves organizat…
Read full storyHundreds of Black Celebrities Want Kanye “The Pest” West To Drop Out of The Presidential Race
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) - Kanye West has just become an individual that 99.7% of all blacks hate. West has been told by hundreds of black singers, actors, sports figures, comedians, and McDonalds employees to drop out of the presidential race.
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