(UNEDITED) Proclaiming himself to be a bestselling author because he hit the top million on the Amazon charts with his pathetic effort, unknown author JoJo Jobson has now divulged the truth in his last will and testament, leaving $ 0,08 cents in royalties to his missus.
JoJo topped himself, deciding it was better to accept the bitter truth instead of proclaiming his 'bestseller' status by purchasing a 1000 copies of his book to prove to the world what a brilliant author he is. However, nothing was further from the truth! He only flogged one, yes one copy of his 'masterpiece' to his grandma who suffers from dementia! The other copies are gathering dust in the basement alongside the dangling noose where he hung himself.
However, every dark cloud has a silver lining; after his death, his bereaved missus issued a death announcement on the death announcement page of his 'local blag', and people feeling sorry for him, just like van Gogh, actually started purchasing his book!
The book, a load of old nonsense, took 6 years to write because JoJo was illiterate. He left school when he was 14 because his divorced mum needed the dosh. So JoJo, humped coal bags to help pay the heating bills. His bereaved missus told local blag reporters that her ex-hubby was a 'toss' at writing, but at least he tried while she was out flogging her balls off working in a local junk food joint; burgers and fries please!
JoJo's legacy is $ 0,08 cents, but his missus is hoping that his book will go viral to help pay his funeral bill, $ 6000,00 big uns! She has now fell in love with a penniless artist whose paintings are rotting away hanging in the same basement where JoJo topped himself.
Moral of this sad story: It seems true that 'life is a bitch' for unknown artists and JoJo Jobson's story is mega proof of that! Maybe they'll film it...