GREEN BAY, Wisconsin – (Sports Satire) - The Green Bay Packers have the distinction of being the only sports team in America that is community-owned.
The Packers have 350,000 stockholders, and they have voted 349,967 to 33, to allow 200 of the oldest ticket holders to attend their first home game against the Detroit Lions.
According to CBS Sports, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has informed the Packers organization that he is prohibiting them from allowing even one fan into Lambeau Field.
Quarterback Aaron Rodgers, who is the team spokesperson, said that he cannot dictate to a corporation how they can run their business; since this is America and not Mookaslavia.
Packers Coach Matt LaFleur tossed in his two cents, and said fans will be allowed in, as long as everyone self-distances, has a medical mask, a hand sanitizing bottle, and brings their own ham and cheese sandwiches, which is, of course, the official food of the fans known as “Cheeseheads”.
Commissioner Goodell has made it known that he will speak to his good friend, President Trump, about issuing a Presidential Executive Order shutting off the electricity to Lambeau Field.