Football Stadium To Become A Library

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 19 August 2020

image for Football Stadium To Become A Library
Silence, please!

It's been announced in the last few minutes that one of the teams relegated from the Championship to League One on the final day of last season, believe there is so little atmosphere at their stadium, that they intend to turn it into a public library.

Hull City, who were playing in the Premier League as recently as 2018, have seen attendance figures at the KCom dwindle from 25,000 two years ago, to a mere 10.000 last season, and, with League One opposition on the menu, it's a safe bet that few people will want to eat.

City executives have now decided the quiet, relaxed atmosphere at the stadium will be the perfect place to open a library, with a reading room for avid readers, newspaper perusal, or students doing research.

A club spokesman said:

"The club is at a low ebb. The owners refuse to invest in decent, new players, and the team is, therefore, falling through the leagues like a TV that's been launched out of a tower block window. Crowds are going to plummet, and the stadium is going to be without any atmosphere or noise."

A long-time fan, Moys Kenwood, said:

"Each time I go to the KC it feels like the atmosphere has died a little bit more. There's a respectful silence, the only sounds being stifled coughs, the pages of someone's match day programme being turned, and the whispered "Excuse me" of someone shuffling along a row to get to the bogs."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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