Harrison Ford & Calista Flockhart Tie The Knot, Also Get Married
It has been reported that adventure movie actor, Harrison Ford has married his long time girlfriend and roommate, Calista Flockhart, in New Mexico this past week. Among those attending were the Governor of New Mexico, since the ceremony was held a...
Read full storyJustin Bieber, Without Syphilis, To Appear On Vampire Diaries
Just in case you haven't been able to find out anything about Justin Bieber because of all the false syphilis rumors all over the internet, the is good news for his fans. But first the rumor, because that was what it turned out to be. "It see...
Read full storyLady Godiva has solution to recent BP Oil Spill In Gulf of Mexico and thoughts on future Serial Killers etc.
This is indeed good news for BP and the World. Lady Godiva's 4th grade students, in Canada have come up with a solution to the Oil Spill. Unaware of the World News, these 9 and 10 year old Rural Canadians were asked to design a ROBOT on large 'graph paper' (the one with with squares). They were asked to figure out their Robot's area and perimeter (something some of The Spoof Writers couldn't...
Read full storyRachel Maddow Offically Up Own Ass
MSNBC commentator Rachel Maddow bitch-slapped Obama's speech to the nation regarding the BP oil spill and delivered the speech she would have liked to have heard, officially getting all up in her own ass. "We've been worried about the possibility...
Read full storyWhat is the attraction related to 'vaginas'?
Why this recent surge of 'vagina monologues'? What is the attraction? There seems to be an awful lot of articles on 'The Spoof' lately about this part of the female body. Is it because writers have not SEEN one for a while, or EVER? Poor 'babies'. I 'feel' for you, but not it THAT way..... Maybe the main topic of conversation has always been 'the female body'. I'm a 'newbie'. What the...
Read full storyExtraterrestrials Behind Gulf Disaster
The Gulf Coast disaster is a ploy by aliens to terraform our planet from it's current ecology to the ecology best suited for their race and biology. A well placed researcher in the scientific community has come forward to confess he and others h...
Read full story'No room' for poor presenters at the BBC
It has been disclosed that the BBC were asked to provide 'poor' presenters by FIFA for the world cup to 'show empathy' to poverty stricken South Africans - but none could be found, even with 7yrs' notice. The best the BBC could muster was the poor...
Read full storyObama Returns Volley: Calls Jimmy Carter "Octogenarian Poltroon Cracker"
With polls in the toilet and the world of public opinion collapsing on him, Barack Obama returned the volley on Jimmy Carter, who claimed that Obama was purloining him of his only honor; that of being the worst president ever. Normally the Preside...
Read full storyStealing Political Opponents' Lawn Signs Can Get You Shot in Alabama
Many don't know who Dale Peterson from Alabama is, but if you are keeping track of the race for Alabama Agricultural Commissioner this year, you can't miss him. He's the one with the horse, the rifle, and the threat to shoot anyone who goes after his...
Read full storyFoppish self-crucifier Sebastian Whorsley found dead
London - (WTF?): The 47 year-old OD'd on smack just two days after the stage production of his memoir Dandy in the Underworld opened to rave reviews at the Soho Theatre. Paramedics attending his Meard Street apartment were staying schtum today.
Read full storyDarth Vader Lands World Cup Stadium Announcer Job
Listen carefully when Greece take on Argentina next Tuesday at the Peter Mokaba Stadium, Polokwane. As well as the relentless drone of the Vuvuzelas, a familiar voice can be heard as substitutes' details are called out, the attendance is announced an...
Read full storyNokia Responds to Apple and Sprint's New 4G Models
(KRS NEWS) Thursday, Nokia unveiled their newest product response to the rapid gains in market share by Apple's iPhone and Sprint's newest 4G EVO model introductions. Introduced to a frenzied and feverish cabal of tech media reporters, Nokia lasc...
Read full storyGiant Piranha found in chip shop!
Mr Syril Oilslik, proprietor of Fresh Fish & Chips Of Folkstone, had a shock when he pulled a Piranha out of his fryer. "It leapt off the scoop and went over the counter attacking one of my customers"! Mrs Edna Sproket said she had been stand...
Read full storySecond Charlie Sheen's Car Stolen, Ran Off Cliff ! "It Was Betty White!"
Four months after having a car stolen (Mercedes) and having it ran off into a ravine, Charlie Sheen has lost another one. This time Charlie says that he saw his new Mercedes being driven out the drive in a hurry and he failed to call the police be...
Read full storyVuvuzela Buzzing Now Being Studied as Effective Contraceptive
Soccer fans in South Africa aren't the only ones complaining about the constant buzzing of the vuvuzelas during the World Cup. Local South African farmers are surprised at the results the buzzing is having on their livestock. The noise is having a...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Won't Sue Perez Hilton Over Upskirt Shot
Miley Cyrus has stated that she will not press charges or go to court over pics published by Perez Hilton on his site. "They were bogus anyway, but I let him sweat it out for awhile, since I am under age", stated Cyrus. "He's already being punish...
Read full storyObama Picks Judge Judy to Decide Oil Spill Claims
Ever since President Obama and BP announced that BP is putting up an initial $20 billion to pay for any legitimate claims that are filed as a result of damages incurred as a direct or indirect result of the Horizon Gulf oil disaster, people have been...
Read full storyArabic Numerals Re-Discovered in Afghanistan-Peace Breaks Out
Many Centuries ago, Muslim invaders of Europe brought their Arabic numerals with them, unintentionally setting off Western scientific breakthroughs which have continued to the present day. "It was rather difficult to do long division or ev...
Read full storyBirmingham Muslims ban CCTV because "The Great One" feels he's being spied upon!
Certain areas of Birmingham, UK, with majorities of Muslim inhabitants, have decided to ban CCTV cameras because they feel it is an infringement on their privacy and "The Great One" doesn't want to be spied on! Now as we know Birmingham is actuall...
Read full storyBetty White Says That The New Viagra Pill For Women Flibanserin Does Not Work
CHARLESTON, South Carolina - Betty White was in town to visit her old high school geography teacher. She was asked if she had heard of the new pharmaceutical viagra pill for women which is supposed to boost sexual desire. White laughed and replied...
Read full storyCarla Homolka 'sex-offender, sexual deviant, rapist and killer' is denied 'pardon' - all Canadian politicians are in AGREEMENT for once. History is made.
Today is a turning point in Canadian History and Politics. Today all political parties appear to AGREE for once. They agree that Carla Homolka should not receive a pardon for crimes committed against her own sister and other Canadian teenagers. On...
Read full storyWorld Cup 2010 - Greece Installed As New Favourites
In a surprising development, Greece, probably the worst team ever to appear in the World Cup finals, and yesterday 1000-1 outsiders, are now 1-4 on favourites to win the competition. The sudden shift in betting odds came in the aftermath of Greece...
Read full story"That's the last time Ilker Casilias lets Sara Carbonero blow his vuvuzela!"
South Africa - (Cherchez-La-Femme-Mess): As an act of terminal detumescence Sara Carbonero's live primetime "How did you manage to f*** it up, querido?" was a corker. It has made La Carbonero the new World Cup she-devil following the balls-reaker...
Read full story'Killer Comet' tracking telescope destroyed
A new telescope facility in Hawaii designed to search for asteroids and comets which could threaten Earth has been destroyed in a freak accident. The Pan-STARRS 1 telescope was built primarily to map large portions of the sky each night to track...
Read full storyJabulani ball axed, rugby ball in
The much talked about Jabulani ball is to be replaced in the final officials have now confirmed at Soccer City, Johannesburg. The ball which has caused much controversy will be replaced by a rugby ball on July 11th. The move comes after much disc...
Read full storyThe Dixie Chicks Are Back And On Tour With The Eagles And Sisters Martie and Emily Say That Lead Singer Natalie Will Be Keeping Her Effen Mouth Shut This Time!
TORONTO - When the Dixie Chicks opened up for The Eagles in Toronto's Yellow Icicles Convention Center, it was the first time they had taken the concert stage in four years. The DCs had kind of been keeping a low profile ever since lead singer Nat...
Read full storyTina Fey Says That Just Like Sarah Palin She Also Has Not Had Her Tits Augmented, Enhanced, or Lifted
MANHATTAN - Tina Fey speaking from her office high in The Mickey Mantle Building in Manhattan said that she has been reading about Sarah Palin denying that she has had her boobs enhanced. Fey, who is the number one Sarah Palin impersonator in the...
Read full storyLocal Man Says "Sod James Corden - I'm Having A Shave"
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock today decided to have a shave rather than follow roly-poly funnyman James Corden's TV appeal for England football fans not to shave as long as the England team remain in the World Cup. Shuttlecock told our reporter: "...
Read full storyLarry King Leaving "Live With Larry King" Amid Rumors He Will Replace Simon Cowell on American Idol
NEW YORK CITY - Larry King was in Macy's Department Store purchasing a half dozen new suspenders when he was asked if the rumors that he is being replaced by Britain's Piers Morgan were true. King, who has been married 8 times, smiled and said tha...
Read full storyNigeria out of World Cup
In emerging news, the Nigerian football team, playing at the 19th FIFA World Cup in South Afria, have been disqualified from the tournament because their captain tried to bribe FIFA officials in an endeavour to influence the results of their group ga...
Read full storyBritney Spears and Lindsay Lohan Are Highly Pissed Off At Miley Cyrus For Upstaging Their Vaginas
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Britney Spears' hair stylist, Fu Fu LaChance, has stated that Ms. Spears is fit to be tied at the fact that her crotch cookie has been upstaged by Miley Cyrus's crotch cookie. LaChance said that when Britney saw the photos of Mil...
Read full storyObama to BP Exec: "Bend Over Bro!"
The reports were few as to the details of the Obama/BP meeting yesterday. The closed door meeting was attended by only a few, but one attendee speaking on condition of anonymity did leak some details to Dylan Ratigan of MSNBC. Evidentially, accord...
Read full storyLionel Messi Destroys South Korea
They don't call Lionel Messi the best player in the world for nothing. The diminutive Argentinian was without doubt the architect behind the destruction of a brave South Korean team. A Higuian hat-trick and an own goal secured the points for Argen...
Read full storyTouchdown Jesus protests World Cup
A "warning from the Lord" was revealed this week in Monroe, Ohio, says a minister in nearby Ohnoes. Touchdown Jesus, a 60-foot plastic foam and fiberglass statue with arms raised high like a football referee, went up in smoke on June 14 when lightni...
Read full storyMelt Down in Adult Stores as Repro Miley Cyrus Vaginas Snatched from Shelves: 3 week Wait!
Adult Sex Stores were faced with an unprecedented attack by customers after the introduction of anatomically correct Vaginas molded after pictures of Miley Cryrus's privates were flashed on the World Wide Internet. Internet orders also passed al...
Read full storyRupert Murdoch and Bill Gates to Biologically Merge
The CEO's of the two business giants, News Corp and Microsoft are to biologically merge, it was announced today. The operation which is expected to take 12 hours (US Time) will take place at the prestigious UCLA Medical Centre in LA. It is expe...
Read full storyRangers bought by Celtic FC
In Scotland today, reports are circulating that the debt-ridden Glasgow Rangers have been bought by bitter rivals Glasgow Celtic. On the clubs official website Chairman David Murray has stated; 'this is in the best interests of not only Glasgow Ra...
Read full storyCorden vs Stewart Boxing Match set for York Hall
James Corden has accepted Sir Patrick Stewart's request for a boxing match after the awkward falling out at the recent Glamour Awards in London. The two came to blows recently after Stewart poked fun at Corden's lazy approach to presenting and the...
Read full storyFabio to play Postman Pat
England manager Fabio Capello is leaving the England post after the World Cup in South Africa for a make or break career in Hollywood. The 63 year old is in negotiations with the makers of a new biopic documenting the life of Postman Pat and produ...
Read full storyVuvuzelas Can Be Heard 'Even After TV Has Been Switched Off'
Viewers of the BBC's World Cup coverage have swamped the organisation's switchboard in recent days complaining that the droning that accompanies the football matches can be heard 'even after TV sets have been turned off'. The Beeb said this morni...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Vagina Issues Lawsuit
There was real drama in the Cyrus household this morning after it was revealed that the world's current most-talked-about vagina, that of Miley Cyrus, had issued a lawsuit against satirical news website TheSpoof.com over, what she called, "intrusive...
Read full storyNew King Crowned
In a ceremony of awesome splendour, the Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Upborn crowned the new British monarch yesterday. Known as King Merry, the new King has acquired great powers. Chancellor Upborn told the former Governor of the Bank of En...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Demands A Napology From Spoof
Miley Cyrus, the teenage pop superstar whose vagina has been relentlessly and remorselessly written about on the satirical news website, TheSpoof.com, has responded angrily by demanding a napology from the site. It's not the first time a celebrity...
Read full storyBig Oil Executive Uses Racist Term Against Victims of Oil Spill
A war of words has broken out over the use of offensive racial language by a Big Oil executive talking about the victims of the most recent oil spill off the gulf coast. Residents of a tiny Atlantic town in the Gulf Coast region are up in arms abo...
Read full storyA seven years old beats a 4 times NASCAR champion
Concord, NC - On Wednesday afternoon, in Concord, North Carolina, a seven years old boy named Joseph Greenhouse challenged a NASCAR driver, Jimmie Johnson, who currently is the four time champion in the Sprint Cup Series. Johnson and the other four d...
Read full storyFlash Floods Becoming Worldwide Epidemic
First a campground in Arkansas was inundated with rising flood waters killing an estimated 20 people this past weekend. Now, there are reports coming out of the Var region in southeastern France that the same type of flood has killed at least 19 peop...
Read full storyNew Budweiser Commercial "Nuns the Wiser" Airs During World Cup
"Everyone knows that drinking and driving can lead to accidents," says the voiceover for a new commercial by Budweiser airing during the World Cup. "That's why, after enjoying a few beers at the local pub, these nuns are walking back to the convent.
Read full storyCalista Flockhart and her Grandfather Marry in Secret New Mexico Ceremony
Sources report that Calista Flockhart --a woman who hasn't had a job since I paid AOL $19.95 a month for dial-up-- and a man reported to be Flockhart's 83-year old grandfather were married in a secret ceremony in New Mexico last weekend. Extra sec...
Read full storyBieber in Fire Island Hideout After Girl Almost Touched Him!
Staff for the country's hottest female singer, Justin Bieber, announced that the hideous creature that nearly broke through his security staff and touched him was a 12-year-old girl. Sources spoke to the 12-year-old's father, and learned that the...
Read full storyKeanu Reeves Jailed for DUI, Giving Fake Name as "Chris Klein"
Monosyllabic alleged closet-case Keanu Reeves was released from a Van Nuys, CA jail where he was charged with Driving Under the Influence, and Criminal Impersonation, following an early morning arrest. Police sources say that Reeves was seen drivi...
Read full storyHollywood Stunner: Jesse and Janine's Daughter Hired As Linsday Lohan's Assistant!
The 6 year old daughter of adulterous sperminator Jesse James and his vagina-for-hire ex-wife Janine Lindemulder might be the only member of the family with a legitimate income: Lindsay Lohan just hired the first grader to be her new assistant. M...
Read full storyLouisiana Swamp Monster Arrives in Kansas
Wamego KS: The legendary Louisiana Swamp Monster Fred arrived today unannounced at the Pottawatomie fishing lake where he intends to set up residence . The lake is located near the small quiet Kansas town of Wamego, population 4,500. Kansas has...
Read full storyOil-Tinged Rain Falling on Nation's Mid-Section
Anyone with a 5th grade science education, knows that as a water source becomes evaporated by the heating of the sun, it re-formulates in clouds and rains down on areas over which those clouds blanket the earth. What most do not know however, is the...
Read full storyTakwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones (newest fans of Susan Boyle), both of Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough, N.E. England,discuss, The End of the World and NASA scientists' latest press release
Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones, both of Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough, N.E. England, were recently interviewed regarding their opinions on the recent news out of NASA outlining the devestation that could be wreaked on Earth when the Sun sends out solar flares, when it 'rouses from its sleep' in 2013. Takwana was quoted as saying, "Well, 'ell's freakin' bells, A just read, in tha' 'The Spoo...
Read full storyDeadly Laser Toy Hits Shelves
A handheld laser likened to a Star Wars lightsabre and so powerful it can instantly blind and "set fire to skin and other body parts" can be bought online and shipped to the UK. The device, with a beam 1,000 times stronger than sunlight on the ski...
Read full storyKate Gosselin Shocked to Find Out She Won't Appear on Bachelorette
Kate has to hear it through the grapevine like everyone else. She is definitely not being considered for the next season of the Bachelorette or any special Bachelorette shows upcoming on ABC. A spokesperson for ABC told Ryan Seacrest this when he (Se...
Read full storyTush! Miley Cyrus' Vagina Rubbed Up Wrong Way By Brass Rubbing Group!
Britney Spears wannabe Miley Cyrus has been courting notoriety recently, writes Ophelia Ladygarden, Bearded Clam Correspondent. She has shed the family-friendly bland tween bimbette image created as a platform for her Hannah Montana non-character...
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