Oil-Tinged Rain Falling on Nation's Mid-Section

Funny story written by Charpa93

Thursday, 17 June 2010

image for Oil-Tinged Rain Falling on Nation's Mid-Section
Cause of 'Black Body Effect'

Anyone with a 5th grade science education, knows that as a water source becomes evaporated by the heating of the sun, it re-formulates in clouds and rains down on areas over which those clouds blanket the earth. What most do not know however, is the darker the object or the "body" is, the more electromagnetic radiation it absorbs so that when it eventually evaporates, there is a tendency for the liquid it gives off to fall in the form of whatever is coating the surface of the water and not water itself. This is called the "black body effect."

Dark oil floating on top of the Gulf of Mexico is playing havoc on the nation's mid-section in that oily rain is now falling on crops throughout the Midwest. "Jesush Crisht," said one man walking home in a downpour in Northern Mississippi after a night of drinking, "I smelt like a goldang Sheshar's Shalad when I got home. I was drensched in oil. My wife is used to me being pickled, but not marinated," he said half jokingly.

Farmers claim that their lettuce, tomato and other vegetable crops are going to market pre-marinated in oil. "We don't know whether to look at this as a brand new way to market our vegetables, or to ask BP to compensate us for damaged crops. We have our lawyers looking into it," said one Kansas City organic farmer.

Meanwhile, folks are lining up to buy rain barrels to catch the rain in hopes of making their own claims against BP for damaging their environment. Said one scientist, "It is feasible that a few good storms can actually push the oil-soaked rain clouds across the sea and into Europe and down into South America. This is not just an American problem anymore. It has the potential of becoming a world-wide disaster that no amount of money in the world will ever fix, eventually leading to the earth's oily demise."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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