Hollywood Stunner: Jesse and Janine's Daughter Hired As Linsday Lohan's Assistant!

Funny story written by anthonyrosania

Thursday, 17 June 2010

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Lohan's Christmas Wreath

The 6 year old daughter of adulterous sperminator Jesse James and his vagina-for-hire ex-wife Janine Lindemulder might be the only member of the family with a legitimate income: Lindsay Lohan just hired the first grader to be her new assistant.

Media sources reported recently that Lindemulder admits there's a "small bit of truth" to accusations that she had used drugs around her 6-year-old daughter Sunny, and Jesse James' sister, Annie Oakley, stated in court documents that Lindemulder once let Sunny drive her car while Janine was all dopey on goofballs.

Hearing that, Lohan, whose last assistant quit without notice, hired the tyke, sight unseen.

"She's the perfect combination," Lohan asserted, while vomiting her breakfast of heroin and Pop-Tarts into the trunk of her Mercedes, allegedly.

"She knows how to drive, AND she is used to being around drugged-up has-beens."

Allegedly.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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